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Not invited but want to send a gift

J G, on October 21, 2025 at 6:01 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 2

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I have friends whose son is getting married soon. I’ve known the groom since he was about 7 years old and I met his wife-to-be when they began dating several years ago. I am not invited to the wedding and that is okay. I would like to send a gift anyway. I’m afraid, though, that if I ask where the couple is registered - or ask about any wedding details - it will look like I’m trying to weasel my way into being invited. How can I get information about the wedding registry and send a gift without giving the impression that I expect an invitation?

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Latest activity by Pat, on October 29, 2025 at 4:12 PM

Just Said Yes June 2021
Klementina · on October 29, 2025 at 2:04 PM
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Since you weren’t invited, it’s best to choose something modest but thoughtful. A small token like flowers, a personalized card, or a favorite book says, “I’m thinking of you,” without putting the recipient in an awkward position.
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Dedicated October 2023
Pat · on October 29, 2025 at 4:12 PM
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It would seem fine to ask the parents about the registry or search for it. It seems nice where a person who has known the bride or groom so long wants to honor that marriage. Maybe say on a card that you are so happy to hear about him maturing and getting married. Also say something like you are celebrating their wedding through your prayers. The idea is that you are content and not weaseling in.
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