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Not in my Moh's wedding and feeling hurt...

Kim, on July 16, 2019 at 2:47 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

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My best friend since highschool was in my wedding about 9 months ago. She got engaged a month after I got married. I saw her twice and heard from her somewhat regularly until around 4 months ago I havent heard a peep. I went to her bridal shower last weekend and figured out she selected her bridal party and Im not in it. She also had friends help her with the shower (some outside of the party) and she never once contacted me for help. (Im not sure if she initiated this or the friends offered, however). I also felt she acted weird around me at the shower. After she opened each gift, she talked about the gift giver and she said less about me than others. She kept referring to her MOH as her best friend and did not introduce me much to anybody. I can get over not being in her party, and in some ways it is a relief because I dont know the majority of her friends who live in her city and thatd be stressful to plan, but how she has become distant and acted weird around me really hurt. I also feel so embarassed like I misread how close we are...

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Casey, on July 17, 2019 at 2:45 AM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on July 16, 2019 at 3:07 PM
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I’m sorry that you’re feeling hurt. Your feelings are valid, however, I would do your best to feel them and then let them go. There’s nothing that you can do to change it. I’m not sure that a conversation with the friend would be appropriate.
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VIP October 2020
Kelly · on July 16, 2019 at 3:34 PM
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She probably feels awkward not reciprocating and doesn't know what to do. I'd say just try to be happy and don't dwell on it
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Super July 2018
Brittany · on July 16, 2019 at 3:35 PM
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I'm so sorry it's never easy to find out a friendship isn't what you thought it was. Maybe decline the wedding invite if you think you'll feel more hurt if you attended.
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Dedicated February 2020
Brittany · on July 16, 2019 at 4:54 PM
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I’m sorry you’re hurt, but I agree that your friend might be feeling awkward. I’ve been in 10 weddings (as a bridesmaid or maid of honor) and only have 7 bridesmaids (of which, only 2 of them are the girls whose weddings I’ve been in), and it does feel awkward not reciprocating that honor. I really struggled with it, but I didn’t want a MASSIVE wedding party and I am closer to the girls in my wedding party than those whose weddings I’ve been in. Maybe grab coffee with her and talk it out. Allow her to explain her reasoning. I would only do this if you want to continue the friendship, though.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on July 16, 2019 at 7:44 PM
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I can totally see why you're hurt! Sometimes friendships change and grow apart - it's a hard part of life. I hope you and your friend can discuss the status of your friendship soon. Good luck
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Super December 2021
Casey · on July 17, 2019 at 2:45 AM
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I agree with PP that it's perfectly okay to feel this way but to feel them and then let them go. I bet she's acting weird because, as others brought up, she probably feels very awkward and embarrassed about not reciprocating.
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