Not In Love With My Dress

I had the exact same issue: I always envisioned myself in a dress with lace sleeves, but ended up with a strapless dress because EVERYONE else was crying and said it was perfect for me. But I didn’t love it, I had several meltdowns over it (I was also very stressed) and I still can’t say that I would have chosen my current dress if I had gone to my appointment by myself, but I didn’t have time to buy another dress, so I stuck with the one I got first. It’s beautiful, sure, and I just keep telling myself that all that matters is that I marry my best friend. And I still look beautiful in the dress, so it’s fine

I did. I had a meltdown over the color... and then when it came in, it was perfect. The stock photo is nowhere near the actual color.


Could you try getting a jacket?

View Quoted Comment You could always consider a jacket?

View Quoted Comment That’s a great idea, I’m actually using a faux fur shawl, which will cover my arms

So I fell in love with one dress, which was plain and simple. I bought it, and then when my bridesmaids were shopping for their dresses I fell in love with another dress on clearance. I took that one home too. I tried them both on and I ended up falling back in love with the original dress I bought, and returned the other one. I think sometimes it takes time, patience and trusting your own gut!

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Peer pressure is real, even if it's not ill-intended. I dragged my family and friends to so many appointments, I could tell they were getting tired of me not finding my dress, though they were trying their hardest not to show it. When I found the dress I bought, I actually went to my appointment alone because I was tired of disappointing everyone, including myself... But you're right: despite all our regrets, the only important thing is how we spend our day with the people we love.

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I'm considering a lace topper, but I fear that the lace would clash with the lace that's already on the dress...

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I originally wanted a lace dress with long sleeves, so I should've trusted my gut to begin with... But I'm glad you did end up falling back in love with your dress and that everything worked out!

What about speaking with alterations and having sleeves added. If you love the shape and lace of the dress, why not see about customizing this dress to more of your vision ( also if you choose to do this shop around alteration shops - prices vary with this too!) Best of luck! If you decide to change share a picture of the before and after! whatever you decide you will look beautiful in on your big day! You've got this!

I normally speak against dress regret and say you picked your dress for a reason, but I went through this myself. My first dress I picked was a huge ruffled ball gown, and I thought I was in love because it made me feel good. But it was like a bad boyfriend, lurking in the closet with miles of ruffles and a top I wasn't loving. Your gut knows. Mine had hesitations before I bought it, but I needed my mom there and she could only be there for that one try on trip, the dress did look good, and at the time I felt pretty good.


Cut to a few months later. Due to health concerns, I lost about 30 pounds. My mom mentioned it over Thanksgiving, and I realized my dress was not going to fit right. When I first went in, I wanted a fit and flare or a mermaid. At the time that was impossible though, due to my gut and other fat areas. I went back into David's Bridal just to see, and fell in love with a mermaid that looks amazing on me now. A sample I had only dreamed of fitting into the last time I was there.
Trust your gut. You may fall in love with your dress again, you may be able to alter it. Or you may find a dress already made that suits you perfectly. The anxiety of dress regret is not worth it though. Go try on if you feel the need to.

I had some regret when seeing everyone else's dresses and all the possibilities. i was more regretting not trying more on. but when i received it and i put in on again with the veil i fell in love all over again. i thought it was missing something, an extra WOW factor. but it was classy and elegant and it turned out to be perfect.

could you maybe get a shawl or extravagant veil?

if you keep shopping and find a different one you love go ahead and sell the first dress you bought! you could easily get it for at least what you paid since it wasn't worn

I've only tried on my dress twice since picking it up in June. Davids Bridal released their new collection and all the dress regret set in...did I choose a dress because I felt rushed, did I make the right decision, will FH love this dress when I walk down the aisle, etc. So I went in during a weekday with my sisiter, when they are usually slow and tried on more dresses. At first, when I tried on this one dress I was like oh I made the wrong decision, then the salesperson was like I'm going to pull the dress you purchased to try on again. In the end I made the right decision and kept my dress.

I agree with the other comment about adding sleeves but wanted to add that you might be able to purchase the lace from the original dress shop. I fell in love with a spaghetti strap dress that I knew I wanted to add sleeves to so ordered the fabric with the dress. The right alterations could make a huge difference!

When you say lace sleeves , how long? You mentioned your wedding is in June , wouldn’t it be hot? It’s also important to find a dress within your wedding season. Maybe try adding lace short sleeve or cap sleeves to the current dress you have? You can always add things to your dress unless you just completely want a new dress.

I'd look at it this way - you have a dress, so at least there is no way you will be without one on your wedding day. If you don't love it, keep shopping around. Something may come along that excites you. If not, you still have a dress.

If you need any tailoring, you'll need to speak with a seamstress about the last time at which you can get your dress altered. For simple alterations, like just taking in a seam a tiny bit, 8 weeks seems to be a typical turnaround, but if you need more complex alterations, like shortening a hem with appliques or changing the look of the dress, you may need more time. I'd shop up until the time where you need to make a final decision, then just decide one way or another and find a way to be at piece with it.

Have you considered getting a lace "topper" or jacket for your dress? Some people do it to have a 2-in-1 look, or for extra warmth in colder weather. You might be able to find a long sleeve topper than you can wear with your dress that gives you the look you want but allows you to keep the dress you already have, especially if you like everything else about the dress.

Omg yes, I’ve been an emotional mess the past week, regretting my dress. I’ve been sleeping on it, but my gut just knows that I’m not LOVING it like I want to... so I have an appointment tomorrow to go try some more at a different boutique. I explained my situation to the consultant, & she was SO understanding and said she ended up buying a different dress and is so glad she did. I’m going to keep an open mind. If I fall in love with another dress, I think I need to follow my heart instead of logic. Best of luck!!

View Quoted Comment That’s really inspirational, thank you for sharing your story! I’m happy you found a dress that feels right. Fingers crossed I can do the same.

View Quoted Comment Oooh, that’s a great idea—I never considered asking for the original lace.

I had this issue - but I tried everything on, down to the shoes - and then I knew it was perfect! I suggest that as a first step - always!

View Quoted Comment Yes! I’ve spent 6 months trying to convince myself to love the dress I bought, but it’s just not right. I ended up going to another dress appointment a few days ago and I FINALLY found the dress I’ve always wanted! I teared up and had the “this is the one” moment I’ve been waiting for... I hope you get your moment and dress too. Best of luck to you!