Not in Family Wedding Opinions

I personally wouldn't take it too harshly (though it's totally valid to feel disappointed that she didn't ask you). She isn't obligated to ask someone just because that person asked her to be in their wedding or because they're family. She most likely wasn't trying to hurt your feelings or anything like that, especially since they said they're keeping the wedding party super small. I wouldn't say anything to either of them about their wedding party choices. Instead, if you're feeling disappointed about it, take the time to process your feelings, and then try to move past it and be as supportive as possible for them.

I wouldn’t feel any type of way at all.
If she and I were the absolute best of friends and she had like 8 people in her bridal party, and I wasn’t one, I might to start to feel some type of way. But otherwise, not a thing. Wedding parties are not tit for tat, and there shouldn’t be any obligation to include someone just because they’re family. Your choices were your own and hers should be her own as well.

I only had my 3 very best friends in my wedding party. Not branching out and including close family wasnt personal. It was about what was best for me.

It is understandable that you feel a bit hurt because you expected to be made a bridesmaid but I wouldn't act on it or say anything.

The reality of the matter is that the bride is under no obligation to make you or anyone else a bridesmaid, regardless of the fact that you are family or that you had her as a bridesmaid.

This happened to me, and my feelings were hurt as well. People will say no one is obligated to have you in the wedding, and that's true. People aren't technically obligated to do much of anything. But it still doesn't sit right with me.


That said, there is really nothing you can do about it. I wouldn't hold a grudge.

As others have said, I completely understand why you are feeling hurt and disappointed, but no she’s not doing anything “wrong” by not asking you to be a bridesmaid. There is no rule that says “if you’re in my wedding, then you have to invite me to be in yours”. I have been in 18 weddings. And there’s NO way I am having 18 bridesmaids! Perhaps she just feels closer to these particular individuals. And that’s ok. Her relationship with these other women in no way should diminish your relationship with one another. Just because she feels closer to them doesn’t mean she doesnt value your friendship. Plus, not being a BM is so much fun! You don’t have to shell out money for a particular dress or stand in front of everyone or get up super early to have hair and makeup done then pose for pictures for hours- you can just show up wearing whatever you want, sit in a nice comfy seat, and have a great time!

Just because someone is related to you or was in your wedding does not mean you automatically get to be a part of their wedding party. It is up to the couple who they want standing beside them, and it should be the people they are closest to.

I wouldn’t care too much especially if they are having a small bridal party

View Quoted Comment I agree completely.


I would not think twice about it because everyone has one or two people they are super close to that you may not be part of that circle, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t important to them. What many people don’t realize is that it’s a ton of fun to just be a guest without any responsibility, whether financial or emotional, attached to being a bridesmaid.

Your feeling hurt is totally valid. If she's having a small bridal party she probably had to make some tough decisions. if you include everyone who had you in their wedding or were family the bridal party would be huge. No one should have to have bridesmaids out of obligation. We had to drawn a line and it was difficult but everyone understood. Enjoy being a guest.