N
Just Said Yes January 2023

Not having friends in bridal shower, help!

Nat, on August 18, 2021 at 2:24 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 4
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I am actually not even engaged yet, but I know it will be coming very soon! Something I already am stressing over is my bridal party. I have three sisters and have always wanted a small wedding party consisting of just them 3. One of my best friends though always comments about being a bridesmaid and just assumes she will be since we are so close. It is nothing personal, I love her but I really just want my sisters as my bridesmaids. How do I handle this since she already talks about being a bridesmaid?

Help! I do not want to hurt her feelings

4 Comments

Latest activity by Jacks, on August 19, 2021 at 9:03 PM
  • M
    Devoted September 2021
    Marianne ·
    • Flag

    I think it would hurt her more to straight up tell her she's not a bridesmaid than by simply not asking her to be one. You could always give her a different role in your wedding, like a reading at the ceremony!

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  • AJ
    Super October 2022
    AJ ·
    • Flag

    Just don't ask her, its her fault she's assuming and will be disappointed. If she brings it up why you didn't ask her and say you and your fiancé agreed to keep the parties small and you only have room for your sisters

    • Reply
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    Since you aren't even engaged yet, now is the perfect time to practice not taking everyone's advice about your wedding plans. You will likely receive plenty of opinions whether you ask for them or want them. And the longer your planning period, the more true this is. It's just how it goes.

    But you and your future spouse have complete control over all the details (assuming you are paying for it yourselves), and so many things will be so much easier if you get in the habit now of keeping wedding planning discussions to a minimum with those who aren't decision makers. Be careful who you bring up your plans with and whose opinion you ask. If someone asks how planning is coming, just give a brief answer and change the subject. If someone offers an opinion that doesn't suit you, thank them and change the subject.

    And finally, though this isn't just wedding related, you aren't responsible for preventing someone's feeling from getting hurt by your decisions that only affect you.

    • Reply
  • Jacks
    Master November 2054
    Jacks Online ·
    • Flag

    Your wedding isn't until 2023? I would wait to even think about asking until about 9 months before the wedding. If your friend keeps asking just say something like "thanks for your interest but we're not thinking about the bridal party yet", and change the subject.

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