Not having an actual shower because family lives to far away...

Wait. This would just be an invitation to send you gifts without any kind of actual get together or hosted party? If that correct? If so, no. That is NOT ok.

If people want to send you gifts, they will ask for your registry info from you or your family and they will send gifts on their own accord. There should not be an invitation to send presents

Yea ... don't do this. what emily said.

This is a no. There is no way to do that without looking horribly, horribly rude.

If they want to send you a gift for no reason, trust me, they will.

Also my family was spread out everywhere - I ended up having a small shower with my closest family (mom, sister, a few bridal party members and friends) who all lived within driving distance of each other. It was wonderful.

TROLOLOLOLOL

I am not sure that this is a great idea, can come off a little greedy. My family is spread out as well, and I told them that I do not want a shower, mainly because I already have everything. But that still didn't stop some of them from sending something.

Ok - I am having a shower and I am 2700 miles away from my family - we are all spread out over the country (CA, FL, CO, NH, MA, ME, RI, CT..ect)

My in-laws (some of whom I dont know well or havent met in person yet) are making the trip special to the shower because they want the opportunity to see/meet me before the big day.

It is possible to have a shower if you live far away.

Also - dont send an invitation out to people asking for gifts. Thats just rude. If they can't make the actual celebration then they can send a card if they want but dont just ask for gifts.

I have a friend that attended a video baby shower. The mom-to-be lives abroad, but her family still wanted to have a party for her. They sent her all of the gifts in advance, the grandmother-to-be hosted a party (including food, refreshments, and socializing for guests), and they watched the mom-to-be open gifts via Skype. It was unique, but at least the guests felt like they got a party for their present, not just an invite to send a present.

There's a chance you could do something like that, but most likely you should skip the shower.

If it was me? here's my registry list, ordered by what I want most first- get it for me

to my close relatives anyhow.

because that's what they would expect, if I said it any other way they would be disappointed.

that's the sense of humor my family has.

you and your aunt know what your family is comfortable with. if that's what will work for you and yours, then go for it.

if there's a issue with people participating because they felt pressured, then that's their own problem.

Yeah, please don't do this. It seems really gift-grabby/greedy.

I get that asking for gifts without a party is rude but I have talked with several of my family members and they want to send me shower gifts even if there is no party. I was just trying to get an idea of a way to do it. Most of my family can not afford to fly out for a shower and then a month later fly out again for our wedding so we do things like this all the time. We did a gift card/story book party for my sister in law who lives in texas when they had their first baby. My godmother wants to do something for me and i know a lot of my family does as well, this is the best route for us but we are stuggling with how to make it more creative and less like we are asking for gifts. We are just trying to find a way to let my family know that we arent doing an actual shower because a lot of them are asking or not because they want to send gifts.

Again, people don't need an invitation or announcement to send gifts. They can send them anytime they want without being prompted. If there is no actual shower, there should be no invitation sent. Your godmother shouldn't be sending anything. Period.

The alternative is your godmother can host an ACTUAL shower and send invitations. People can decline if they can't travel and send a gift if they choose.

If there is no shower, then nothing should be sent especially not a request for gifts. It amazes me that after all if these responses you are still asking how to do it!

If they want to send you a gift, they will.

not everyone is going to make a decision because people disagree. she's asked for opinions, we're giving them. she's a grown woman and will make her decision accordingly.

what about making a video of you opening the gifts if you can't internet broadcast? that's what's been done in my group for people who are opening gifts for birthdays, things like that so people that live far away can feel a part of it

what about the idea of a cyber shower broadcasted online? how would your family feel about that? feel free to invite me

I think showers are being gift grabby in itself, but I don't hold it against people for having them. it's up to the individual if they want to participate.

what I find shocking is that so many have a problem with this, yet they have no problem doing a cash registry and including a card telling people where they are registered. it's not my taste, but I'm not going to give someone heck for doing it.

it's not that big of a deal if someone doesn't something I wouldn't do myself.

Aronna, I would guess that most of the people here having a problem with this aren't the same ones who put registry information with their wedding invites. They also give their opinions when girls ask about doing that, and the general opinion is a resounding "no."

Just have a normal shower, even if it's small, and invite people that you want. If they can't make it, then they can decide whether or not to send a gift. But just asking for a gift is a bit odd.

LillyBride: she didn't ask if she should, she asked about how to word the 'invitation' and how to let people know about it and make it creative.

sounds like she plans to do it, so she's asking for suggestions on going about it, not whether or not she should.

Have your Godmother do this if she really wants to throw you a shower:

http://weddings.about.com/od/bridalshowers/tp/farawaybridalshower.htm

@Aronna, you're right, which is why I didn't comment offering suggestions. I just meant about your comment saying that you find it surprising that people don't like this but are okay with inserting registry info with invites; I was just saying I don't think it's the same crowd.

I would just send out a normal invitation to all of the people that you want to invite, if they can make it they will if not they will decide if they want to send you a gift.

Why can't you do a shower the weekend before your wedding, that way people can try to come early for your wedding?