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Samantha
Super August 2019

Not Feeling Like a Bride..

Samantha, on March 20, 2019 at 3:11 PM Posted in Planning 1 12
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Anyone else have this feeling? My wedding is in August and even though most of the planning is nearly done and I'm excited, I just don't feel like a bride or that I'm really getting married in a few months. Apologies for my mini tirade. I just need to get it off my chest and it feels like a safe space here.

We are going to Utah in 2 weeks to finally meet all of our vendors and go to a wedding expo, as well as finalize some details - it'll be a fun 2nd spring break! Lol.

But my mom is still being awkward regarding all things wedding and making comments - like today, I was telling her how exciting it is to finally go dress shopping and have tastings, plus a little ballroom dance surprise for my fiance, and she rolled her eyes (we video chat) saying just remember you're doing all this work for just one day. And she dropped the bomb that instead of being there with us for the week - they live in Cali and we live in Penn so we only get to see them maybe once a year - they'll only be coming down in the middle of the week and just staying a couple of days since they decided they want to take a few weeks to vacation in Hawaii in Oct.

I also know a lot of brides or friends of brides getting married this year or next and I see all their pictures friends and family celebrating with them and having a good time. No one has said anything to me about our wedding since we got engaged, my bridesmaid and MOH are practically MIA ( I know they live in different states, but a text would be nice?) My fiance has a very negative attitude toward the wedding industry and gets annoyed when I bring it up. We won't be doing engagement photos, no pre-wedding parties (which I know aren't required) but would be nice. I just don't feel like a bride and as excited as I am to get married, I'm not excited for the wedding.

I'm trying to focus on my DIY projects to get me in better spirits and the workout routine I've been doing to get in better shape for myself with the bonus of potentially wearing a fitted dress. Plus being in a new city, new job and no friends definitely doesn't help.

12 Comments

  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
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    I have struggled with a lot of what you described as well...I think it's more common than you'd think it is. I had to joyfully watch FH's brother & his fiance (now wife) get so much excitement for their wedding over a 2 year engagement. Any time we were together, that is all that was talked about. Well, me and my FH got engaged 4 months before their wedding, and weren't even allowed to talk about our wedding until months after their wedding! Like really? I haven't received any excitement or involvement from anyone. My mom likes to jokingly say "are you sure you don't want to just elope and save the money!?" And I'm like "ya, I'm sure!" I do all of the wedding planning myself, and the only thing my bridesmaids were involved in was picking out their dresses. No one checks on me or asks about the wedding. What gets me through it is using these forums to share excitement and get all of my wedding talk out. But I will say, as my wedding is getting closer (3 months out), I am noticing a little more interest from others....not a lot, but it's progress. So maybe when your wedding gets closer, you'll get more excitement from others. My FH doesn't even get excited or talk about the wedding, so yeah...I get where you are coming from.

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  • Kiki
    Super May 2019
    Kiki ·
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    It sucks you're feeling this way.

    At the end of the day no one is going to be as excited as you are for your wedding. We didn't do any of the extras engagement photos or party either. My sister is throwing my bachelorette she's my MOH is your bridal party not throwing you any parties not even a shower? Usually those are the times people will be excited for you and will make you feel more bridal can you mention without being pushy to your friends or family that you would love to have a party? A bachelorette or bridal shower wouldn't involve your FH so nothing for him to be annoyed with.

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  • Laura
    Master October 2019
    Laura ·
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    I'm sorry to hear you're feeling that way. I totally understand. My fiance could care less about planning, unless it's something he's INSISTING on then I sure get an opinion! My MOH had a baby in December so I don't talk to her much. I get why you feel the way you do. You're not alone.

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  • Samantha
    Super August 2019
    Samantha ·
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    Thanks Smiley heart

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  • Samantha
    Super August 2019
    Samantha ·
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    No shower or bachelorette. I was thinking of combining our hen & stag party into a 2 day glamping trip the week of the wedding and inviting the bridal parties in the same area as the wedding. I've brought up a couple things with my girls but that was weeks ago and I've yet to hear back. I can't talk to my mom anymore because she's making it negative. Really the only person I can talk candidly to is my fiances stepmom, she's the only one going dress shopping with me too. But generally speaking we don't bring up the wedding plans with fiances dad or her.

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  • Kiki
    Super May 2019
    Kiki ·
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    Wow! I'm sorry you're going through all this I'd be pissed with my mom and friends if they couldn't even be bothered to throw me a shower. Hopefully you can pull off the glamping weekend! Good luck!

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  • Samantha
    Super August 2019
    Samantha ·
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    Exactly!! My cousin, two friends of friends, and three friends are getting married either this year or next. I haven't stopped hearing about the excitement from everyone or seeing their pictures from parties people are throwing them or just general get-togethers. I bring up my wedding once and suddenly I'm talking about it too much. I'm hoping that happens the closer we get, my biggest concern is my grandmothers memorial is planned for the month before the wedding - I'm hoping that doesn't dampen the excitement more, as if it could be reduced more from now, hahaha.

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  • Samantha
    Super August 2019
    Samantha ·
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    Thanks!! Smiley heart It is definitely where the bulk of my frustrations are channeled currently. I already told my fiance that if they choose not to come camping (it's so cheap! we found a great little place on the lake to rent for $30 pp, they have a spa and outdoor grill restaurant and activities we can plan so even though it'd be a combined hen/stag thing we can do different activities) that he and I can enjoy the couple nights on our own.

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  • A
    Expert January 2020
    Abby ·
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    I have totally felt the same way. Family has been horrible and torn me down. Whenever I tell them about things that I’m excited about they tell me “you have a long time” (it’s 10 months.... so not really that long... it seems no one understands how long it actually takes to do things) and it’s driving me nuts. I understand this is not other people’s moment but dang. I have felt like people don’t give a care about me anymore now that we are getting married (they cared before when we weren’t engaged and we constantly got hounded with “when are you getting married” and “when are you having a baby”) I am so sorry you have to go through this I know how much it sucks I just found out my MOH isn’t coming to my wedding and it sucks. Just keep your head high and know that all of us are so happy for you!!
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  • ASMini914
    Super September 2019
    ASMini914 ·
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    I haven’t gone through the exact same thing, but I have felt similar at times. My family lives across the county and haven’t been able to come to any of the planning that we have invited them to (cake, tastings, etc) which I understand, but still disappointing. I picked out my wedding dress alone on a random week night.
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  • Summerbride77
    VIP July 2019
    Summerbride77 ·
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    I've struggled with this too. My mom is super excited but she's got a hectic job and lives across the country. All my bridal party is out of state too. On top if it, after some bridal shower drama, it looks like my stepmother won't be attending the wedding.

    Only advice I can give you is to take a breath, give your FH a big hug, and do exactly what you're doing (find a project to focus on). I find these forums help a lot too, we're all there with you and for you!

    • Reply
  • M
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Maggy ·
    • Flag
    I am sorry that you are going through that. I myself feels this way too. I feel overwhelmed, and just down. This virus has been a bummer on everyone. I can only pray that everyone is safe. Take care of yourselves and loved one ladies. 💕
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