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Just Said Yes July 2019

Not Feeling Excited

Isabella, on June 11, 2019 at 9:12 PM Posted in Planning 0 3

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Hi all,
I thought I would post here to see if what I feel is normal. Long story short my fiancé’s sister passed away unexpectedly at 18 a year ago, and she was also my best friend. Then a few days after she passed, my father and I lost our home that we had lived in due to high rise costs in the Bay Area. So my fiancé were forced to deal with her loss and the loss of my childhood home. We moved into our own apartment because my dad would be leaving to move an hour away and we needed to stay due to work. But, the hard thing is my father is my rock, he raised me as a single dad and he is my safe place. The sadness of not seeing him much took a toll on me, and while working full time and taking 5 college classes, I am exhausted and still depressed from all the losses. I love my future husband, we have been together 5 years, so I know it’s not him- but i’m just not excited or motivated to do anything for our wedding and it’s next month! Is this normal? Thank you for reading. ❤️

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3 Comments

Latest activity by Jo, on June 13, 2019 at 10:40 AM

Devoted June 2018
JuneBride2018 · on June 11, 2019 at 9:29 PM
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I am so sorry you are going through this. Have you talked to your fiancé about this? Talking about it with him may make you feel better. That way you can see which way you guys need to go as far as the wedding. Don’t put too much on yourself.
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Devoted November 2019
Heather · on June 11, 2019 at 9:32 PM
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I am so sorry for what you have gone through. Things effect everyone in different ways. It sounds like the plans are a done deal so why not view this as a good for you chapter change in your life. Your dad may be thinking that your wedding is the only thing he has to look forward. See if you can go to dinner with him and check. I would also take advantage of talking to a counselor to deal with the grief and stress of hosting a big party. Your employer may offer an EAP- employee assistance program and you typically get about 5 free sessions per issue. It couldn't hurt. You need to spin this as a positive thing that you need to do to move forward. Worst case- fake it till u make it. :/ My prayers are with you and your family.
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WeddingWire Administrator May 2015
Jo · on June 13, 2019 at 10:40 AM
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I'm so sorry, Isabella. It's 100% understandable you're not feeling excited about the wedding right now, even though you love your partner. You are exhausted from grief after grief after grief. Weddings take a lot of work and while I'm sure you're happy to be getting married, the wedding of it all can be daunting at the best of times.
Practically speaking, what is left to do before the wedding? Are you all planned? Is there anything we can help you simplify to take some things off your plate? Can you delegate some plans away?
But what I'm even more concerned about is you. It's normal to feel grief and depression after such losses and changes, but in order to work through this you need time and support. Heather's suggestion about an EAP is really great and I hope you'll look into that. Online counseling and listening services are also great options, like some of my favorites, 7cups.com, griefincommon.com, and inspire.com. Grief counseling and individual therapy are also really good ideas at this time of so much change in your life. Is that something you'd consider looking into?
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