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June 2021

Not doing a registry/gifts

Dj Tanner, on February 22, 2020 at 12:58 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6
Hi everyone! So my fiancé and I have decided that we don’t want to do a registry and we don’t want any wedding gifts. Instead we would rather have our guests make a donation to our local 24hr emergency animal hospital, our local animal shelter called Vintage which takes in older pets as permanent residence that are too sick or whose owners have gotten sick or passed away, or an organization in Rhode Island that helps pet owners who can’t afford vet bills. This is something that my fiancé and I hold dear to our hearts and it is what we care about the most. When we initially talked about our wedding we felt very strange about a wedding registry and bridal shower and gifts because we’ve been together for 10 years and we have everything we need. I understand that people want to give us things becauseWe’re getting married but I’m just curious how others will respond to this request that we have. Also how on earth would I put this on our wedding invitations? I haven’t discussed this part with my wedding planner yet but how do I kindly and politely ask my guests to refrain from getting us gifts and to make a donation to one of the above organizations?? Any thoughts opinions both positive and negative are all welcome.My mom doesn’t like the idea because she said that not all peopleFeel the same we do about animals and they might just want to focus more on me and my fiancé. I obviously disagree with this but feel free to share any and all opinions on this. thank you

6 Comments

Latest activity by Alys, on February 22, 2020 at 3:50 PM
  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
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    I would just put it on your wedding website. Gifts are never mentioned on the invitation. Also just know there will still be people who will give you cash or check or a random gift.
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  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    OMG I wasn’t even thinking about my wedding website. My wedding is in June 2021 so I haven’t even gotten that far yet. This helps a lot thank you!
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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
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    Definitely agree with the suggestion this only be on wedding website, if shared anywhere. Another option would be to not register at all and in many circles most guests will gift you cash/checks. You and H can then donate any and all of what you receive to whatever charities you select. While it's hard to argue against animals, I understand where your mom is coming from regarding not directing people where to make donations. Generally, it might be considered rude to tell people to refrain from giving you gifts they select and instead make a donation in your honor. Some guests might be fine with it, but others might find it rude. You can achieve the exact same result if you and FH just decide a donation is how you want to use whatever financial gifts you receive.

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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    That’s super nice of you guys to do that ! It would be something more for a wedding website or if anyone asks you can say it to them
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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    Agree. I’d personally just take any cash gifts guests chose to give us, and then donate ourselves to the charities of our choice.
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  • A
    Dedicated September 2020
    Alys ·
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    Exactly, you can put it on the registry page of website or simply have no registry page and people will take the hint. If they give your cash/check anyway, donate it yourself.
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