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Beginner September 2019

Not close enough

Jacki, on July 26, 2019 at 4:40 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8

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I'm standing up in a wedding in October. I'm getting married in September. I haven't talked to the bride who has been a friend since grade school but we aren't very close. I haven't really talked to her since she asked me to be a bridesmaid and we picked out dresses. I'm understanding that her wedding is not very organized and I'm not sure if that's just how she is as a person. I'm not inviting her to my wedding because we are keeping it to close family and a few friends. How do I go about telling her that my last name is going to be different for her wedding and that we aren't inviting them to ours?

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Haley, on July 31, 2019 at 11:02 AM

VIP June 2019
Formerbride · on July 26, 2019 at 4:44 PM
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Woof. This is odd. Just tell her in plain English, you will be married before her wedding.
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Super September 2021
Sharon · on July 26, 2019 at 4:54 PM
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Exactly as you just said, its just "close family and a few friends". You're having a small, intimate wedding and can't invite everyone. Don't feel bad about it.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on July 26, 2019 at 5:02 PM
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Does she not know that you're engaged at all? Would she find out via social media before her wedding? I would imagine this is going to be a super awkward conversation. I guess the best way to go about it would just be to blatantly tell her. I would say "hey, I just wanted to let you know that my last name will be changing to X after our wedding in September in case you're doing programs or escort cards."
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Expert September 2019
Elizabeth · on July 26, 2019 at 5:12 PM
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Let her know you're having a small, intimate wedding, with close family and a few friends. You'll have to blatantly tell her your last name is changing.
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Beginner September 2019
Jacki · on July 26, 2019 at 5:20 PM
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I did post it on social media and she said congrats on FB but hasn't said anything after that.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on July 30, 2019 at 6:43 PM
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I second this response!
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Beginner September 2019
Jacki · on July 31, 2019 at 10:52 AM
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Thank you all for the responses! I did tell her and at this point I feel like she only asked because she wanted a big wedding and needed bodies. At her bridal shower, I did tell her that my last name won't be the same for her wedding and she didn't really react. She also didn't really try to have any conversation about what's going on in my life and it was very awkward. So I'm just going to do what I'm asked for her wedding and leave it at that.
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Just Said Yes May 2020
Haley · on July 31, 2019 at 11:02 AM
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Just be straight with her! My last name is going to be different because we are having an intimate ceremony. I would be really surprised if she were hurt over that!
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