Not choosing one family member in wedding party

Etiquette-wise only the couple chooses their wedding parties. If your daughter is a teenager or an adult, she can voice her own disappointed feelings to the couple. She also is within her right to decline the role. Maybe she can do a reading instead.


Any money you give to the couple is a gift and not obligatory. That said, withholding money to move your daughter into BM spot will come off as controlling, favoritism, and infantalizing. If you've done this in the past, know it does not bring a family together. I urge you to treat all as adults and let them make their own adult decisions.

EXACTLY what LM said. No other notes

That's why you don't say anything. They wanted to be in the wedding, they pay for it.