Not changing my name - how to put it on our wedding website

Do you have a FAQ page on your website? You could put it there.

View Quoted Comment

I do! That was one thought but not sure how many people will really read it...

We both are changing our names.
On our FAQ section i put
“Should I make my card out to mr and Mrs old last name?”
”actually were both changing our name! We will be mr and Mrs new last name!”

I’m not legally changing my last name either. However, i have come to terms with my name commonly being accidentally changed by others in social situations regardless of legality.

Is there a reason you feel you should be proactive about this? I guess I’m just going to go with it.

PP states you could put it on your FAQ but im
not sure how to word that without being blunt.

View Quoted Comment I think one reason to be proactive is that I’ve seen a lot of checks be made payable to mr. and mrs. new last name which can cause some headaches with negoatiating them (depending on your financial institution of course)

View Quoted Comment A wedding check should be written with the bride’s maiden name if it’s addressed to both bride ‘AND’ groom. Or it could be addressed to bride ‘OR’ groom and therefore cashed by either party.

View Quoted Comment I agree that is how they should be written but we all know that things aren’t always handled how they should be. I handle customer complaints for a large financial instituion and this is an issue that comes up at least once every other week because the checks are written to the bride’s new last name.

I did change my name. But that doesn't happen immediately - it took me over a month to have the time off and all the documentation I needed to go legally change my name. It took me even longer to get to my bank (I needed legal docs like my license, Passport etc in order to change it at my bank). We had checks made out all kinds of ways including with me as Emily Newlastname. It was not an issue. I think we did end up taking those in to the bank but I did not have an issue at all with cashing them.

People will mess it up whether you change your name or not. It is frustrating but it's kind of just part of the process. People try to do what they think is right and don't mean to offend or frustrate. I think it is a little presumptuous to tell people how to write out a check which is really the only reason you have for wanting to clue them in to your plans for your name. Plus, even if you put it on the website, some people will still do it. I think it may just be something you have to deal with but I can't imagine it would be that much of an issue. Just bring your a copy of your certificate to demonstrate at the bank if you have to.

I didn't put this Information anywhere but I made sure the officiant made the announcement using my last name so that people would know. I also told people who asked early on that I was not changing my name. Regardless, cards were still written using his name. It has taken some time, but most everyone is now aware that I kept my name. Personally, I wanted to be proactive about this because my name is important to me and I do not like being called by something that isn't my name. To each their own here, but it bothers me so I made sure to let people know as it became applicable.

I'm going to change my name eventually (we both don't care enough about me changing it for me to rush to go do it) but technically I still have my maiden name. Side note: I was just thinking today how it might be nice to get it changed for our first anniversary (yes, it will probably take me that long to get around to it ) and put my new license in a little gift box to show him I'll officially be Mrs. D.

Anyway back to the subject, our two different names has never been a problem. We got wedding checks addressed to us in all kinds of ways and had no problem cashing them. We also have a custom address stamp for thank you cards and it just says our first names.

I didn't change my name and wasn't proactive about telling people ..... I just didn't think to do it. I guess when our officiant didn't announce us as Mr and Mrs John and Jennifer Doe, it became obvious. We had no issues with checks being made out incorrectly - it all worked out. I'd probably include a FAQ on your website or just spread via word of mouth if it's important to you to get the word out there. I think either would work. Good luck!!!

Put it in your FAQ on the wedding website. I would also put another note about it on the page dedicated to gift-gifting. Something like a link to your registry, and then maybe an extra line being like, "If you would like to gift in the form of a check, please make it out to [BrideFirstname Lastname] OR [GroomFirstname Lastname]."

I don't see what's wrong with being blunt in this situation. It's your name. You're not changing it. People should probably know that.

In terms of people calling you Mrs [GroomLastname] in some social situations, that's just going to happen occasionally. People tend to assume that the woman changes her name.