Not being asked to be a bridesmaid

I'd be focused more on "she didn't think we would talk after the wedding" than on being a bridesmaid. Have you two drifted apart? Or had a blow-up? A wedding is just one day, but it sounds as though the friendship is in need of attention.

So to me it sounds as though the friendship might be more one sided than you realize or want to acknowledge especially if she's already she didnt think you guys would talk after.
I think its rude of her to ask for your help and exclude you from other things and I would probably decline helping her any further if it's causing this rift.

See that's the thing, no arguments or anything in our 5 years of friendship. She said it was because I hadn't talked to her for a few weeks due to me moving to a different city and settling into a new job

Especially since she said she didn’t think you’d talk after the wedding, it sounds like she considers you a roommate more than a friend.

I'm not sure if that's the case as we knew eachother for a couple of years before we moved in together as we decided that we spent all of our time together anyway

Why won't you be talking after the wedding? Honestly, she sounds like she sucks. I'm sorry. I'd find better friends.

There is nothing you can do. Its her wedding, she gets to choose whos in her wedding. You say youve known her for 5 years, you should be more worried that she said she does not think youd talk after the wedding. You think of her as a good friend. She seems to think of you as a roomate or an acquaintance

I agree with PP. I would be offended if someone I considered a close friend said they didn't think we would be talking after the wedding. That's plain rude. I think that's the most important part of what she said.

Grow up and move on. It is a hard lesson most learn by their teens years, that two people in a friendship often do not value the friendship as much. Someone you consider your very best friend may have 5 people she thinks equally highly of, including you, and there may be two she values more than any of the five of you. With no meanness or bad judgement. You may always have avoided this issue because the people you cared about, returned your feeling. So this comes as a jolt, at this time. The worst thing you can do is analyze each of her friendships. Because you know only surface things. And your friend would likely see every friendship she has differently than you do. Choosing bridesmaids is a subjective thing, totally how bride sees things, at the time she is choosing. And she may take into account her FI's feelings. Just accept her choice, wish her well, and help or help with a shower or something, only if you feel like doing it. But do not use it as a measure of how she values you. This time you didn't get invited to the party. It happens to everyone . If she sees herself most likely to be spending time with other people in the future, then go to her wedding as a guest, as a lot of her friends will. She is still a friend, not suddenly an enemy. But if you want a bestie who at this point in her life thinks more of you than anyone, you need to make time to get to know some new people. Or maybe look at some people you let drift as friends because at the time, you were important to them, but they were less important to you. Nurturing bad feelings helps nothing, and will only hurt you. Don't get stuck. Seek out more people, and over time, other women will become valued friends. Sad as it is at times, most friendships have a limited lifespan as " best friends "

I would stop speaking to her. She sounds super dramatic and she probably uses people. No need for her!

View Quoted Comment Exactly what I was thinking. This seems like the end of you guys friendship in her mind.

If you moved away, she is probably worried that you won’t maintain the level of friendship you have had in the past. Ultimately, it is her decision, and although it obviously hurts, I think you just need to move on. Have a conversation with her if you’d like to clear the air, but she made her choice, and judging her for who she chose will not make it better. I think the fact that she asked for your help means she would like you involved, but it is up to you if you decide to. This is her day, so you need to decide if you want to be a friend and attend/help, or just walk away.

Just for some added context because I think it would help, I have now lived in my new city for over a year and talk to her multiple times a week and she is now moving across the country. Around a month before she got engaged she told me that if she was to get married I would be MOH and I would be the one she trusted to plan her bachelorette party. The future MOH has also been arrested before for assaulting the bride on one occasion.

I would focus on the "she ddn't think we would talk after the wedding." To me, that clearly states she doesn't value your friendship as much as you do. I'm sorry you're feeling this way and have to deal with this, but it sounds like she thinks of you as an acquaintance and not a close friend. If I were in your position and she asks for any help from here on out I would decline and ask her to ask one of her bridesmaids.