Not a bridesmaid but bride helper!

Vendors. And you should pay them an appropriate rate.

What exactly do you mean do you mean by helpers? Would you want them to be with you like your bridesmaids would or be doing something else?

View Quoted Comment I would like them to be there with me as well. Get ready take pictures, help me use the bathroom and keep my cool.

That'd be a bridesmaid or day of coordinator. Which as Aleks said the latter is a paid position. I think your fiance shouldn't be limiting your bridesmaids and you shouldn't beat around the bush with titles. They're bridesmaids and your fiance will have to deal with it.

I have a couple of friends who have offered to help who will also be getting ready with us but not bridesmaids. I see nothing wrong with it, especially since they offered. I wouldn't necessarily ask them to help if they didn't offer unless you know they wouldn't be hurt. Just be certain they get to enjoy the wedding too!

Call them friends. No need for a title, or inclusion in other wedding party events. Return the favors one day, of take them out separately from the wedding party as a thank you, if you want. And always, always, a sincere letter or note of appreciation, a keepsake. Same thing as when friends or family, not in the wedding party, give a party in your honor, be it engagement, shower, or a bachelorette. You do not need tiers in a wedding party.

I went to a wedding where the bride had a personal assistant.

Do not ask friends or family to work your wedding without compensation. Hire help. Or give those with you the honor and title and flowers that go with being a bridesmaid.

View Quoted Comment

Exactly this. They would be called Day Of Coordinators, and should be paid the fee that goes with that position.

Or ask them to be bridesmaids.

Please don't take advantage of your friends. I'd be very hurt if a friend asked me to do all the work, but didn't feel I was worthy of being a bridesmaid. Our "friendship" would definitely suffer afterward.

It's absurd to pay them unless it's understood beforehand there would be payment. Otherwise they are hired help. Personal assistants to the bride or coordinators are appropriate titles. Give them a special mention in the program or speeches.

There is nothing wrong with asking people for help. If they're your friends/family they'll want to help.
Don't understand why most people on the forum who seen to have a bee in the bonnet about asking family or friends to help/ do stuff. I'd want to help in anyway I could for a friend or family and I know mine would do the same for me.

HOWEVER this is wrong. You're asking them to do the work of a bridesmaid but not be one. It's sounds like you're taking advantage.

3 BM is hardly excessive so if you want them involved then I think you need to talk to FH.

View Quoted Comment I think that is people’s point. A lot of people don’t like when you expect people to help you do things. She is not willing to have them in her wedding party but wants them to be her helpers.

View Quoted Comment I am good if you ask them or they offer to help. I do not like when people get all upset cause they can’t help do whatever reason. Or think the point of a bridal party is just to help the bride.

Honestly I would be miffed if I was asked to be a helper to do all the grunt work while those with the bridesmaid titles get the real positions of honor.

Hire the day of coordinator and be done with it.

View Quoted Comment

Yes they have asked to help. I already have 4 bridesmaids and he only has 2 on his side. They have offered to help and I want them to be involved throughout the day! but wanted to give them a special title in order to show that they are involved throughout the big day.

I have one of those....we jokingly call her my honorary bridesmaid

View Quoted Comment Thank you!!

I would just ask them to be bridesmaids, but everyone's situation is different. I wouldn't call them helpers either, but I would make sure they are the ones offering help, not you asking them. You can ask whomever you want to get ready with you, but making them do that and other jobs is kind of not nice, especially since they won't get the "bridesmaids" recognition.

You dont' have to have the same number of BM's as your H has GM's. I'd be super annoyed if my friend asked me to be her errand girl for the day. Just ask them to be bridesmaids.

The person who helps make things run smoothly is a day of coordinator. You can ask them to do that? Otherwise, if you're asking them to help the other bridesmaids, you should be asking them to be bridesmaids. I would be pretty offended if my friend came to me & said "Hey! For the wedding, can you help assist my bridesmaids?" but didn't actually ask me to be a bridesmaid. If your FH is only having 2 groomsmen & you already have 4 bridesmaids, you could always ask the other 2 girls to be bridesmaids & maybe they could stand on FH side to make 4 & 4? Also, I don't think it's fair of your FH to tell you to limit your bridesmaids. This is both of your day & if you want them in your wedding party, then they should be. If not, then you could ask them to be DOCs if they would be okay with that? I have seen people hire friends for that position. As previous commenters pointed out, that is normally a vendor that you hire & I'm sure the friends hired were given at least a little compensation. I have not looked into hiring one, but Google says the national average for that position is $600.