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Just Said Yes April 2020

Non-traditional Wedding

Key♥, on September 7, 2019 at 3:40 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 5

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Hi, my fiance are planning an April wedding. We are both active in our church and plan to get married Sunday immediately after church service. There will be no decorations, except for a runner, unity candles, and flower girl petals. I've considered putting together an arch, but no sure yet. The wedding party will consist of bride, groom, parents, grandparents, 4 groomsmen, 4 bridesmaids, 4 honorary bridesmaid, flower girl, and ring bearer. We also are not having a reception. We will have a non-hosted dinner with immediate family and wedding party and a couple of close friends at a local restaurant. Money has played a huge factor in us coming to this decision. We are paying for the wedding as we go, meaning we had no backup savings already started and also not getting much financial support from our families. We also have to pay for furnishings and living arrangements because we do not live together and won't until after the wedding. We are starting completely from scratch. My question is I want to do a cake and punch reception after the ceremony in the church hall (the hall is really really small and would not be able to hold a full reception) . I felt like it would be our way of saying thanks to our guests that stayed during church and our wedding. The cake would be a sheet cake from Sams' already cut up and placed on a dessert plate. The drinking cup I wanted to have plastic cup and customize them with our date and info sort of like a take home favor. The cake and juice would be designed for the guest to take to go with them. No one seems to really like that idea because it would prolonged the time frame that guest leave the church and they may be tired (also night service starts at 7pm) or it would be a hassle having all the guest enter and exit the hall. What do you guys think, this is my first wedding and his too? Fiance wanted to do a office wedding, similar to courthouse wedding just with our pastor marrying us from an office at church and not a judge and courthouse. I considered this and sometimes still do, but wanted to have a ceremony.

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Cassandra7, on September 8, 2019 at 12:14 PM

Super February 2020
Jeanie · on September 7, 2019 at 3:51 PM
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I think a cake and punch reception would be the easiest thing. If you went somewhere else for a reception, people would have to drive there first which would make it even later before they would be driving home, so I don’t think time at the church is an issue. But if this is important to you, which it should be, you should have the ceremony you want. Since you’re both active in your church, I’d be surprised if you wouldn’t get a lot of offers to help from the other members. I would talk to the pastor at your church and see if he has any suggestions, but I think you’ve got the right idea.
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Super October 2019
W-K · on September 7, 2019 at 7:58 PM
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Hi from one broke bride to another. Your wedding sounds a lot like mine although we’re trying to find a way to host dinner for our October wedding. Cake and punch reception after sounds lovely and is pretty much what we had planned on. Most people don’t mind staying a little later to “celebrate.” If they cared enough to stay, I’m sure they care enough to appreciate a little snack after. And if they don’t they can still always just bail early.
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Devoted November 2017
Rea · on September 8, 2019 at 9:14 AM
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Op, cake and punch will be sufficient. You mentioned in your post decorating the plastic cups with your names and wedding date...in my opinion save your money/time and opt for simple clear cups since they will only end up in the trash but they will look just as nice. Visit your nearest dollar tree for some cute bridal plates, napkins and the clear plastic cups. While there purchase a couple rolls of thin ribbon that matches a color in your bridal theme to wrap the cutlery in the napkin. (added personal touch) Since the cake slices will be designed for take out, visit your nearest Costco or Sam's for some Styrofoam containers, make some nice labels or even copy paper cut to size with a thank you printed on it and tape it to the top lid. This may not be what you have in mind but it's in the sense of saving money. I chair several programs a year at our church and I use my home computer and printer and the dollar tree for most of my decorations all the way down to the plastic table cloths which the dollar tree has a great selection of colors. Our church dining hall maintains various sets of basic flower centerpieces and all I have to do when I decorate for a church program is add a little color of flowers again from the dollar tree. Although for our wedding I hired/rented a decorator to decorate the church and dining hall I just couldn't stomach throwing decorations away and since it was on a larger scale. i used the money I saved by designing & printing my invites at home. But when I need to save some serious dollars, the DT is my go to store.
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Master October 2017
karen · on September 8, 2019 at 9:43 AM
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If you cannot afford a reception, I think you need to cut out the wedding party and the favors. It seems that you want all the acoutraments of a wedding, as long as it does not cost you much. Do you intend for bridesmaids to buy bridesmaids dresses, and then their own dinner? If you need to economize, you need to be fair with your friends and family money too. Cake and punch is fine, as long as not at dinner time.
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Super August 2006
Cassandra7 · on September 8, 2019 at 12:14 PM
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"The cake and juice would be designed for the guest[s] to take to go with them."
This is not appropriate. You must have some gathering for your guests at which you serve them at least cake and punch, to be eaten in each other's presence--you know, a low-key party. A reception.
Have the wedding you can afford. Feed your guests.
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