Non-traditional Bridal Shower -- No Gift Opening!

You can have showers with out gifts, call it bridal tea. But if you want gifts it would be rude to not open them in front of the guest.

I went to a bridal shower where the bride opened the gifts right as the guests walked in. It was nice because we weren't waiting for her to open them all at once, and she could thank us personally. After the gift was opened, it was placed on a few long tables so that everyone could see what was given.

A shower is to shower the bride with gifts. If you have one, its rude not to open and oogle over the gifts the girls bring you. If you dont want gifts, it should be a wedding luncheon or a tea. You arent given the option to be selfish and have a shower, with gifts, and not open them in front of your guests.

I'm not trying to be rude at all...I just don't love the idea of sitting while everyone stares @ me opening up gifts. I personally don't even like going to showers for the same reason. I'm trying to find a solution where everyone feels comfortable!

I felt super awkward about it too. In my culture it's actually rude to open gifts in front of a crowd. I did it anyway, and had a smaller shower so it was fine. You could just not have a shower.

@LadyMonk -- I tried to go that route, but my family/BM's were like, "No, you're having a shower." I can't win!

I would say don't have a shower. But instead have a bridal brunch, or bridal tea or bridal cocktail party. But if you call it a shower people will expect gift opening. The whole point of a shower is to shower the bride in gifts.

My cousin had a shower and asked everyone to "save the trees" and not wrap gifts. So instead people would just put a bow on it so she still couldn't break the ribbon or shes having _ kids (not sure anyone else still does this but its big in my family still). So I am following suit. This way you can still "open the gifts" but everyone has already seen it so you don't need to linger very long and just say thank you after opening the card. It took half the time and we spent a lot more time playing games and talking to the bride then sitting watching you for an hour fighting with wrapping paper.

Have a tea or luncheon that isn't for gifts. As previous ladies have said a shower is to shower the couple in gifts and if you cannot fathom sitting in front of your guests and opening the gifts they generously got you, have an event that they do not give you gifts. Or don't have a party at all.

I've been to a baby shower like this. It was a green theme, and an open house style event. People brought unwrapped gifts and they were displayed on a table. There was an area with tags to write your name and tag your gift so people could see who it was from

NO NO NO! It's not rude not to open your gifts in front of your guest. Your guest will thank you and call you the Bridal shower queen. I have yet to meet one person who wants to look at a bride open gifts for 2 hours. If you have a shower you have to registry yes. But you can just have a gift table and display the gifts there. Trust me your guest will thank you

Ugh... Julia ...nope! Please come to my shower, bring me a nice gift, and just put it on that table over there.......now you may go home. Thanks!

Haha @ Julia I'm actually totally with you. If all I had to do was drop my gift off @ a table at someone else's shower to be opened at home I would be happy as a clam!

Would having a smaller shower help you feel more comfortable? Fewer eyes staring at you, fewer gifts to open. I agree that the point of the shower is for gifts to be opened and to ooh and aaah over everything. I would find it strange if gifts weren't opened, and it would sort of make me feel like the gifts weren't appreciated. I've also heard brides invite guests to socialize in another room with the men if they didn't want to watch the gift opening. I thought that was strange. The bride even said "Some people here have told me they don't like to watch the opening of gifts..." and I just felt that the guests who expressed displeasure were rude and should not have come to the shower if they didn't want to watch gifts to be opened. I'm pretty sure that was a cultural thing so I think you need to know your crowd.

Other options: 1. take a break in the middle of gift opening if you are overwhelmed. I've seen this at large showers and I totally understand the need for it! 2. Have a bridesmaid, mom, sister or 2 help you by snipping ribbons, gently detaching tape, so you can easily slip the paper off. It will go more quickly so you can focus on making eye contact and thanking the guests rather than fumbling with a package. 3. Ask guests to either not wrap "go green!" or wrap in clear plastic. Then you can hold up the gift, open a card, say thank you...much quicker.

I hope some of these options make it easier for you!

Thanks Jacqui I'm guessing with both sides I'll still have around 30-40 people. I'm not trying to be difficult or rude and most importantly, unappreciative. I just have always found the gift opening a little over-the-top for me, personally, especially since my fiance and i already live together! I'm thinking we'll end up doing what others have suggested and do a 'no-wrap' situation so I can still have the best of both worlds w/o offending my guests in anyway. I really just want to celebrate being engaged with people I care about, since spending quality time with them the day of the wedding might be difficult!

I honestly think watching a bride open gifts for 2 hours is the worlds most painful event. I've seen showers where they advise to wrap in clear or bows and then the gifts are displayed, it then allows for it to be a nice party where you can relax and socialize instead of being bored watching the bride awkwardly open gifts

We did a green shower for a wedding I was in. The these was Marti Gras, so we put masks or beads on the gifts as they arrived, and put them on a table for all to see. It all worked out great

@soon2BMrsB -- I know, right??! I completely agree, hence my hesitation... if I hate sitting through it so much, why on earth would I want to make others do the same? It's not that I'm unappreciative at all! I just think it's super awkward and cheesy.

@JK8115 @Mrs.L 2 Be @Soon2BMrsB

I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. I don't see anything wrong or rude with displaying gifts on a table.

@Julia -- omg no girl. It is so painful.