Non rsvp-ers

Tell them just that- you have a hard deadline to give numbers to venue/vendors and if we don't hear from you on Monday we'll count you as a no.

If you need to know by monday and they haven't given you a response by then I'd count it as a no. Because I had some people who we kept asking but they wouldn't respond and so we put them as a no. they never did respond aha and sure enough definitely didn't show up

You tell them something like: "Hey there, hope all is well. Our RSVP deadline has passed, and we were wondering if you were going to be able to joyfully attend or regretfully decline. We have to turn in our final numbers soon, so if we don't hear from you by (insert date) we will have to count you as a regretfully decline. Look forward to hearing from you soon, thank you!"

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Yes, exactly this. Tell them that if you don't hear from them by Monday that you will count them as a "no" and that you won't be able to accommodate them at your wedding. If his friends don't respond to you then they can't come to the wedding, it's as simple as that!

Call them one last time and tell them they have until Friday at 6pm to decide and If you don't have an answer then you will mark them as not coming.

I will reach out once. In that message I will have a second deadline and let them know that if we don't hear from them again, we will be counting them as a no.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. I can’t believe how rude people can be!

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Right! I have even had some invited guests (that have not sent their RSVP in yet) say that they are thinking of bringing people (as in plural!!) with them. WTH! Ugh. This really should not be this difficult lol

View Quoted Comment So tacky! I haven’t encountered that, but have no problem saying “oh no you’re not!.” How are you going to respond?

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Since our RSVP deadline is still a few days away, were going to wait and see if they send theirs in first before we say anything. Fingers crossed they just RSVP for themselves but if they do, they will be informed that seating is limited and only available to those guests who are invited. Any additional guests will not be allowed inside until all invited guests are seated. If there is room, them fine but if not, sorry. We allowed plus 1's for everyone we knew were seeing someone or had mentioned beforehand that they would possibly be bringing a date. This person has been asking questions since we got engaged and never mentioned wanting to bring anyone until now. The guest list has been done for months and they knew this. I am really trying not to go bridezilla but we picked our venue because it was small and intimate. The reception is a buffet and seat yourself so that part I am not worried about but still.....why?!?!? lol

View Quoted Comment I agree with this approach. To send asap.

You could also follow up on the deadline DAY OF and say,

"Sorry that we couldn't connect in time to count you as an RSVP for the wedding. We will miss celebrating with you but look forward to filling you in on all the fun details after the wedding."

This way it is clear that they are not being counted. No confusion from anyone.

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This. Sorry I am not chasing people around. Less money out of my pocket. If they can't respond like an adult in a timely fashion too bad!

I’d reach out one more time saying “our venue needs a headcount so we need to know if you’re coming to the wedding or not by this Friday, or else we will unfortunately have to count you as a ‘no’.” This drives urgency behind it so he knows there’s a deadline, and you’ve warned him that if he doesn’t respond he simply won’t be able to come.

We set our deadline on invites as July 27, we have heard from most everyone (but not necessarily by RSVP cards). I am going to reach out to everyone else around August 1 and just basically ask them if they're coming or not - if there aren't any responses I will just do like previously mentioned and send another message letting them know the deadline has passed and we unfortunately had to count them as a no.

I don't see why it's so tough to make a check mark and still an already stamped envelope in the mail....

I'm too early to have this issue yet, but I know it's coming.

I just want you all to know that we received a wedding invitation for one of FHs friends. The RSVP deadline is about 3 weeks from now. I was a good guest, and filled out the card right away and put it in the mail!! It wasn't hard, as they had the RSVP envelope already stamped. It took me less than 30 seconds to get it done.

I also wrote both FHs and my names in, so they don't have to go searching through their list to find us. I don't want this couple to have to track us down!! I actually haven't met the bride yet, but I'm sure she'll be grateful to get it!