Non-religious ladies: prayer before meal?

There will be no religion stuff on our wedding day at all. Both of our families are a bit upset about it, but they're understanding to an extent.

My DOC asked about it and we're just doing toasts during that timeframe so that hopefully no one even notices we skipped it. I'm not religious so I'd rather that not be a part of my reception.

Could you compromise? By saying a non religious grace/thanks? My in laws at family events say

Thank you for the food before us, the friends beside us and the love between us.

No direct mention of a deity.

We are like Annie. My family is not very religious (we are Christian). We only ever prayed at meals when one uncle was in town. My grandparents that went to church every Sunday only prayed at meals when this uncle was around. We don't really have much religion on our ceremony but that is because we don't like traditional ceremonies. We are not doing a prayer at the reception.

Leanne. I really like that.

My DH's one-and-only wedding 'request' was "NOT IN A CHURCH". Not even a Unitarian church! Although we had a ceremony (outside at a country club) it was barely one step above getting married by a JOP. Stand your ground-- if it would make you uncomfortable, don't do it. I agree with others-- I can't speak for your guests, but *I* would feel uncomfortable sitting through a prayer before the meal. Maybe she could say one to herself?

FHs parents are the same way. they have made so many jabs about us having religion in our ceremony/ at dinner, etc. I was raised non-religious. FH was raised evangelical christian, so obviously his parents are extremely religious. FH, now, is more anti-religious than I am, however, and neither him nor I want to incorporate any sort of religion into our day. Not at dinner, not in the ceremony, nothing. I don't think you should do anything you don't want to do. If FH wants to, it's one thing, but if it is for you FMIL, it is another. Stay strong in your beliefs.

I am sorry...in my opinion only...and I totally respect what yours is...how do you expect to have a marriage succeed without God? God brought you together and I think it is only fair to thank the one who brought you together. and out of respect for your parents you should at least pay your respects and say thanks. God loves you and wants to bless you and FH so I believe AT least a prayer should be said. how can you not bring religion into something that was created out of religion??

@Leanne That's very similar to what my family does. I don't think of a prayer before meal as necessarily mentioning God (only a few family members add that). Usually it's just a thank you for the food and everyone being able to get together.

Rigby, not everyone believes in God. Simple answer. Lots of marriages succeed without God. But you're a smart cookie and I know you know that.

@Rigby So because I don't believe in God, I shouldn't expect my marriage to succeed?

Im response to OP's question, we are not including a prayer or anything religious at our wedding.

Lots of people have very successful marriages without god. My parents are going 37 years strong. Go them And FH and I will be there too!

I'm sorry, I am trying to respect your response, Rigby, but I think it was pretty disrespectful in a post that was directed at "non-religious ladies".

I'd be really uncomfortable with a pre-meal prayer. If you don't want it, don't include it. Your mom can say a prayer to herself if necessary.

@ Rigby, the simple answer (for me) is that I don't believe God was involved in bringing us together, etc, and we've been doing just fine without him (if he exists).

Edit: Also I don't believe that God invented marriage.

I didn't mean to rock the boat it was my opinion only and I have nothing but respect for you ladies. If I have an opportunity to give God a shout out I will.Plain and simple. :-) you girls are all awesome and I love being a part of ww.

I'm not religious, but I love The Lord and we will definitely be blessing our meal and thanking Him for every good thing He has done in our lives!

Religion will be nowhere near our wedding!!! My first wedding, when I was young and easily influenced by my parents, and the offer of their paying for a wedding we could barely afford ended up in a Presbyterian church (at my Dad's wallet's behest) where I literally pretended to give a shit about what the minster was saying and reading through the ceremony. And that was after being forced in to weeks of Presbyterian pre-marital counseling I neither wanted nor particularly agreed with. DON'T incorporate ANYTHING you feel strongly against in your wedding unless you want to look back on it one day and say to yourself, why the hell did I do THAT?!?! Placating others' religious views on a day that has different, but spiritual importance to you is simply not worth it, take it from someone who knows!

And yea, I don't believe "god" had anything to do with bringing my FH and I together, nor do I think our marriage will fail without "him."

If I were a guest at your wedding, I'd assume (based on knowing you and the non-religious ceremony) that a prayer before dinner was something you were doing to appease family members. I wouldn't necessarily be offended, but I'd be uncomfortable.

If you're not comfortable having a prayer before dinner, don't do one. This is your wedding, and you're not being a bad host by having a non-religious wedding.

Honestly I was very surprised my mom brought it up- even as a child I didn't buy into the the "koolaid" being offered, and we fought about church every weekend, till I was 15 and got a job working all day sunday. It is something i could see FMIL brining up, she was highly pissed we are not having a Catholic wedding- even said, there goes 13 years of tuition payments down the drain, as if we had any choice in the matter than anyway.

We are not having a religious ceremony or prayer at our wedding, but as a guest I would be happy to follow suit of the couples choices. If you don't want to say a prayer before the meal and your Mom wants to, could their table say a prayer (rather than as a large group?). I realize that this may not be what she is really after.

If you don't want prayer before the meal, then don't have it. Tell mom no. I am all for honoring you parents in some way, but if it's an issue you feel strongly about, you shouldn't have to have a prayer.

I am culturally Jewish and don't have a religion. DH is a non-practicing Catholic. We actually had a lot more religion at out wedding than I would have thought. It was important to me to include Jewish elements in our ceremony as a nod to my heritage. So we had some blessings in Hebrew, but it was about the tradition, heritage, and honoring my people. It had nothing to do with God for me.

We also included some Catholic elements in our ceremony. DH's mom and and sister both did readings that are significant favorites in DH's family. Again, nothing about God, dogma, and religion for us, but honoring where we come from and acknowledging that it helped make us who we are today.

We did not have an prayers or anything religious at the reception.