Non-legally binding wedding?

Sorry I posted twice, didn’t see my original message😅😂

If you aren't getting legally wed, it isn't really a wedding. You can call it a commitment ceremony if you would like. I guess I would have to understand the purpose of trying to do this without getting legally married in the process.

View Quoted Comment My man is afraid of the legal side of it I think... he is a big over thinker and I believe the idea of signing a government contract is worrisome to him. I want a wedding, but I’m trying to find a middle ground that would make him feel less stressed about it. His parents got divorced, so I think he’s a bit paranoid about the messy process, even though he says he knows it wouldn’t come to that. Just looking for some advice and info

View Quoted Comment It's a legally binding process, yes, but that is because you get certain legal benefits when you get married. Some couples get tax breaks. You can be on your spouse's insurance. If something happens, you are able to make life and death decisions about their care, and so on. One of the reasons people celebrate marriages/weddings in such a way is because you are proclaiming a lifelong commitment to each other. The stakes are higher. Yes, divorce is an option, but ending a marriage requires more hoops than ending a non-legally binding relationship. While the emotional toll of ending any long-term relationship can be huge. Marriage kind of makes both people put more skin in the game. If he's concerned about a messy divorce, pre-nups can help with that. They are helpful in drawing up some mutual decisions about the splitting of certain assets that may be more prickly if going through the actual divorce process because you are making and agreeing to these terms from a point of love for one another rather than malice.

View Quoted Comment Wow! Thank you so much for the great advice! I always thought prenups were for rich people haha! That makes a lot of sense and could take the stress out of it for him. In Oklahoma, I’m pretty sure we still have common law marriage as well, which means if we live together for long enough we are legally married anyway.

You could always have a commitment ceremony if that what works for you both. There are definitely legal benefits to marriage. It changes your status to that of immediate family. You are your partners next of kin for medical purposes, insurance, can file taxes together etc. We’re an international couple so the legal aspect was really important to us - we needed a marriage license for visas. We’re much more secure knowing we are “legally” family given our circumstances. Personally, I don’t think marriage is all about the legal aspect but there are definitely reasons to get married and involve the government for many people.

View Quoted Comment Yes and no. Rich people tend to have more assets, so they are more likely to get them( and also have a higher likelihood I imagine of getting into marriages that may not be truly born out of love on both sides). But really anyone who is getting married and owns a house or some property or a stake in a business can secure those assets in a pre-nup if that is a concern. You would have to speak to an attorney about the specifics.

So these are dark but hey to quote rocky life isnt all sunshine and rainbows. Medical rights if something bad happens( we have all seen those medical drama shows) , property rights without having to scroll through credit and loans from the past however mamy years long incase something happens to prove it's yours to a judge ( either you dont agree with each other in 10 yrs or one of you passes and suddenly a cousin gets your washer due to outdated will( happened to an aunt) ), rights you have if they get drafted as a spouse( cuz who knows what the government is going to do) vs a relationship( which is none), tax write offs, insurance purposes, widowers benefits( sad but true, and again happened to my hippie fight the power aunt who didnt get hers). As for the being cautious becuase of parent choices, as i told my older brother who was from my dad first marriage and had that train of thought, they would still be fighting over a penny off the side of the road with or without a piece of paper. The only difference being what court you end up, one that is experienced and will split everything, ending the fight or one that you have to fight for every little item. There is a reason behind all the legal stuff and it's to protect both of you in cases such as these and much more.