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L
Devoted August 2020

Non-invite guilt!

Lauren, on December 19, 2019 at 8:59 PM Posted in Planning 0 8
No real question, just venting! I work at a group home with teens, of which I'm very close with a few coworkers who are invited. Yesterday I had mentioned when a work event timing in relation to taking time off for my wedding. One of my kids asked if she was invited, (of course not, professional boundaries) but this prompted a few of my coworkers to then complain they weren't invited. One we hired over the summer and the other only recently began working with us full time,but we still arent close. Another coworker I was chatting with via text asked me how wedding planning is going and tried to get details and I felt so awkward and tried to change the subject quickly because it was obvious she was fishing for an indication of an invite. If I had extra money honestly she probably would have been invited. So I just feel awkward and guilty. I feel like this has been the worst part of planning ☹.

8 Comments

Latest activity by Lauren, on December 20, 2019 at 4:55 PM
  • Jennifer
    Super March 2020
    Jennifer ·
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    I've had a few clients ask me if they were invited and of course as you mentioned, no due to professional boundaries. I just tell people the venue is small and therefore we have to cap the guest list. Most people stop their invite fishing lol
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  • Samantha
    Devoted December 2019
    Samantha ·
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    Ugh that part is the worst. I had a coworker ask me EVERY week if he could come. People for some reason have no boundaries with these things. Weddings are expensive and a line has to be drawn. I would just smile and say as much as we would love to invite everyone we have a budget or a venue limit etc etc, nothing personal.
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  • Mandee
    Devoted September 2020
    Mandee ·
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    I've discussed my wedding at work, but the department I work in is closing and everyone is scattering to different units in the hospital so I won't see them again! I have two colleagues that I invited, but that's because we see each other outside of work and hang out on the regular.

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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    That's the hard thing. Of course current and former students ask to come lol. That why with some people I am saying nothing. I have already heard that whatever I do i hope to invite someone bc she loves me. That'll turn into then I should invite these two bc they'll find out and be hurt if i don't.
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  • Kaysey
    Super February 2020
    Kaysey ·
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    I've had the same issue. My FH and I did not invite a lot of our coworkers. He invited 4 of his and I invited 6 of mine (between the multiple departments in our different companies). We handed out their invitations secretly so those who were not invited did not see, because we did not want to hurt any feelings. Since we handed out the invitations, I (not so much my FH), have been asked by numerous coworkers of mine who were not on our guest list if they were invited. It was extremely awkward for me to have to explain to them that we've met our capacity for our venue and that I was sorry. Most who were told understood but one person continues to ask me where her invitation is.

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  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
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    I have to say what nobody is saying here. It is extremely RUDE to ask to be invited to anything, let alone a wedding. Ok, maybe regular people don't understand what a wedding costs, and how even one or two extra people can put a couple over their budget. But still!!!

    I was brought up with very strict parents, who taught me good manners!!! It is NEVER ok to invite yourself to someone else's gathering, nor is it ok to ask about an invite. If you know someone who is getting married, it is none of your business who they choose to invite! If you are one of the lucky ones, great! If not, oh well, I'm sure the couple had their reasons. I find that even if I was planning to probably invite so-and-so, as soon as they break the good manners rule and ask me about their invitation (as if they are entitled to one because they know me), I immediately want to NOT invite them, because of their rudeness.

    Ok, rant over. Smiley smile

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  • Emily
    Dedicated October 2021
    Emily ·
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    I understand this guilt all too well. Mine however is more the we plan to invite them but know they won't show because of family drama but have to still invite them because....family. Ugh! Creating an invite list is never easy and other humans make it even harder after you've spent hours creating, editing and reediting your list. Keep your head up and try not to discuss wedding plans much around those you didn't end up inviting. Eventually they will get the hint.

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  • L
    Devoted August 2020
    Lauren ·
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    Thanks ladies! I'm glad others share in this!!
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