Non-bridesmaid Costs for Bachelorette?

I personally think spending more than $200 total for a Bachelorette per person is unreasonable.

You're not wrong. If they wanted people to help pay for decor and other stuff, everyone should have had a say. I'd just reach out to whoever asked you for the money and say "I'm sorry but I won't be able to contribute to the decor. I only budgeted for travel, activities and food/drink."

No you’re not wrong at all. That’s a little steep especially since you’re not apart of the wedding party. I’d just let them know that you can’t contribute what they’re asking. I’m also having people participate in my bachelorette party, but they’re only being asked for $40 each.

Yikes, you are not wrong. First of all, covering the travel costs for the bride is way too much. As you said, brides usually pay their own way for destination bachelorettes, with maybe not paying for drinks/food one night. Having other people carry the costs of the bride for multiple days/nights and airfare is just absurd, and having anyone pay for decor they were not consulted on or allowed to give an opinion is not ok.

No say no pay. Being told to pay for something you had no input in is not ok. As someone who is not part of the bridal party, you should not have been asked to pay for part of the bride's costs in the first place, but you already agreed to that

Unlike some of the previous comments, I have actually found it quite common for the bridal party to chip in to pay for the bride’s expenses for bachelorette parties/bachelorette weekends. The idea behind that is that a bachelorette party or trip is being thrown in the bride’s honor, by the bridal party. It’s no different than it being in poor etiquette to invite guests to your wedding then ask them to open their wallets at your event…. It would likewise be in poor taste to throw a celebration in someone’s honor, then ask them to help fund it. So really, the bridal party are just being good hosts. And they did ask everyone if they were OK with contributing towards the bride’s costs, and everyone agreed. So I don’t see anything wrong with that portion. However, you never should have been asked to pay for things that were not discussed or agreed upon. If they never mentioned covering the cost for decor, you should not be expected to contribute toward it. Personally, I would probably just end up paying the extra hundred dollars because it wouldn’t be worth it to me to have to have that uncomfortable conversation or to feel like others are angry or annoyed with me over it. I wouldn’t want $100 to come between me having fun and feeling comfortable during the trip. However, I would make it known at that time that I hadn’t anticipated that extra cost, and have reached the maximum amount I have budgeted for the trip; that way it would be clear I would not be contributing for any additional costs from that point on. However, if the extra hundred dollars just isn’t doable for you, you would definitely not be in the wrong if you were to voice that.

If you didn't agree to the expense, you're technically not obligated to contribute. However, it may be an awkward trip if you don't. I like Cece's suggestion of saying "this is all that's in my budget for this event, there will be no more". Having said all of that over a grand for a party to me is really high.

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I agree with all of this!

The bride covers her own travel arrangements and expenses. That is one reason of many why destination bachelorette parties don’t work for many.


If the bachelorette was local, all guests and the hostess would pool their money together to cover their own expenses plus covering the bride. When transportation to another destination is involved, the bride covers her own travel and there is an agreed on amount that everyone pools their money toward to cover food and drinks. Lodging and transportation is the responsibility of each individual.
I would not participate because what you are being asked to cover is not reasonable.

This post is a bit old, but wanted to comment this in case anyone else has this issue.

I think a grand is a bit steep, but everyone's money situation is different so that may not be a lot in your circle of friends. Even so, you guys agreed to the 1k...so everyone saying it's ridiculous...well, OP didn't think or she wouldn't have gone...so that's irrelevant.

As for the extra $100, I would explain to the planning girls that 1k was pretty much the cap on your expenses, and that you'll chip in what you can but if they plan on making other purchases, to please be included in that discussion. I'd prob just fork it over to avoid being awkward, but that would be IT from me financially. The host pays for the décor, etiquette wise.