NO! YOUR ADULT CHILDREN AREN'T INVITED TO MY WEDDING!!!!!.....

I would be annoyed too. Some people just have no class. Don't second guess your decision - there's no reason to invite the adult children of your mom's friends unless you are close to them.

Yikes. I didn't invite my adult guests' adults children.

People are just rude. I would be hella annoyed! I was at work the other day when one of my good friends said "Im so excited for august!" and another co-worker asked what was going on and i said im getting married. His response was " Oh.. i wouldnt know cause i wasnt invited" IVE NEVER SPOKEN TO YOU OUTSIDE OF WORK!!! gah.

I'm sorry about this. I expect your mom was embarrassed and tried to dump her friend's child's rudeness off on you. Just say something like, "I really wanted to keep it to people who are very special to me...." and leave it at that.

Thanks Ladies! It's good to hear affirmation that this is NOT just what you do, as my mother says! We're having a smaller wedding, it's ending up being about 90 people, and we had to be very selective about who we invited. If there were friends who we weren't as close to but I still would have loved to have had come that got bumped off the list, why would I invite someone I don't even know!!

Why does everyone always assume they're supposed to get an invitation to somebody's wedding? What in the world?

Seriously, I don't understand where people get off assuming that every wedding has unlimited room/money!

I've been very private about my wedding off WW because of all the drama of "will I get an invite" when we got engaged. We didn't have a date and were still in college.

We've also had so much drama about invites from my FMIL, like FH's brother's girlfriend's parents who we have never met. We are in trouble because we are not inviting them. They are apparently serious but have been dating for a year now. She's invited, the parents we don't know? NO. When FH's sister got married the "only" reason my family was invited was because we were engaged. Vent over.

I'm so glad I didn't have to deal with all of this. When we got engaged, I heard about it a bit, but then when we said destination wedding, we were able to invite everyone, knowing that they wouldn't come, but at least they'd be happy they were even invited.

My great grandmother made a comment at my cousins wedding that just happend 2 weeks ago that her friends from New Brunswick would have come down for our wedding too, had we done it here. All I was thinking was "no - I'm not just going to invite people I met once when I was 10" I know all of my other grandmothers would have wanted to do the same, invite people that knew me as a kid, but weddings are too damn expensive for that.

Normally I am all for the extra people and kids, ha but if they are your age and not friends that is wayyy over the top messed up. I could see it if you not your mom are really close with the parents, I could see a little hurt there. Since they are your moms friends they have no say.

@Alison, we didn't even invite my FSIL's HUSBAND's parents, so there is no need to invite a FBIL's GIRLFRIEND's parents ! That's just crazy.

My FH's cousin RSVPd for her and her son (who is 21). I understand she can use her plus one for whatever guest she wants but I really hope this doesnt lead to her siblings wanting to bring their adult children. We really had to cut it off after first cousins because his mom is one of 11 children and 98 of our invited 137 guests are his family.

I wouldn't worry about it. Especially if you don't know them or know them well. Weddings cause rifts and there is no way to avoid them. Just ignore it all.

That is frustrating and I can't believe people assume that - but I found out they DO!

FH told me when you invite someone, if they have kids, the kids are automatically invited. He went as far as to say that if HIS parents get an invitation, the unspoken rule is that his sisters, their husbands, AND their children, plus him and I, are included - WHAT?!? No way!

After a little bit of me died inside, I explained to him how that is NOT how it works!!

I totally agree!! But as a side note, what if those adult children are family members? FH has a huge family with a lot of members out of state. While obviously aunts and uncles are invited, what about all of those cousins? My FH hasn't seen these people in at least 10 years. Is it still okay to not invite them?

Lyssa, my man has TEN FIRST COUSINS! We had to invite them AND their dates lol. But we do see most of them several times a year. If he hasn't seen them in 10 years, I'd ask the in-laws what they think, whether those cousins deserve an invite.

Well, between the two of us, we have lots of first cousins we see on a regular basis. It's those distant first cousins I'm worried about. I'll talk to my FMIL. That's a good idea. I know most of the aunts and uncles either by name or having met them, which is exciting, but yeah, those cousins.....I'm pretty sure FH couldn't tell me their names. Haha. Thanks AugustBride!

@Lyssa, we actually only invited the first cousins that I know, but it also didn't matter because I knew my mom's family wouldn't come, so I could invite whoever I wanted from her family and they would never come. My mom's family is a little dysfunctional, so even keeping track of who's cool with who is a nightmare. I was actually instructed not to bother inviting certain people. For my FH's side, we did basically the same, knowing that they mostly wouldn't come. None of them really know us, and they live far away. None of them would even realize it if we didn't invite them, or would really be that offended. But tbh, I honestly think the ones we haven't talked to in years would only know we didn't invite them because of Facebook.

I am having the same issue.

Anytime I bring up the fact that me and FH will do our best accommodating all of our gazillion family and friends they say "oh you have too.." and "what if we come up on some money and are able to help." The second option about coming up on some money is fine. But we are getting close to about 350 guests, including family and friends, and not knowing who will say "yay" or "nay". The more people, the more pricey.

Plus its your wedding, you should be able to invite whoever you want. Those who did not get invited should be mad or understanding.

@DanieGee, omg! My mom thinks this too! And apparently this is how weddings are done here, in our folksy little community. I think it's insane! I mean, when all is said and done we're paying like $45/person! Which is even on the cheap end! I don't know if it's a country or small community thing, but I moved away to the city a long time ago, and they DON'T do it that way there!!

The etiquette rule, or so I thought, was that you start with the elders of the family first, and work your way down if budget permits. So, the grandparents first (if alive) and then the parents, and so on and so forth.

You did the right thing in only inviting the parents.

Mom's going to have to get over it, as well as her friend's daughter whom you barely know/care to be there anyway.

Everyone feels entitled to attend weddings whether they have any real connection to the couple or not. I truly think some people just want to go to be seen by others and then eat/drink for free.