Kimberly
Just Said Yes October 2021

No wedding party

Kimberly, on March 30, 2021 at 4:37 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 14
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I need some advice from those who are not planning to have a wedding party for whatever reason. My fiancé got upset when I suggested not having anyone at the altar with us because I’d rather it just be him and I but we would still invite our closest friends. He really wanted his cousin to be his best man Who lives out of state and since my best friend lives across the country and will be in a family member’s wedding a week after mine I just feel it’s best to just not have a wedding party to avoid any pressure or obligations. I guess what I’m trying to ask is what were/are your reasonings to not have a wedding party and how do you feel about it?

14 Comments

Latest activity by Fred, on March 31, 2021 at 7:17 AM
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
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    You don't have to have a wedding party if you don't want to! If he wants a best man, I think that's totally fine as well, even if you choose not to have anyone stand up on your side. One thing you could do if you would rather it be just you and your fiance at the altar is have the best man walk down the aisle, but have him sit in a reserved seat in the front row instead of standing at the altar during the ceremony.
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  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
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    We both decided not to have a wedding party, because frankly I don't see any practical reason for it. I'm too practical for my own good, but I just really don't see the point, Lol. We just happened to both agree on the topic, but if he had wanted to have a Best Man, that would have been perfectly fine with me. You don't have to make everything even, especially if having that support system is important to him, but not so much to you.

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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    Why can't your FH have a best man and you not have anyone?
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  • Kimberly
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    Lol I agree with you! I don’t see a reasoning to it but I do agree that If he wants a best man next to him he should have that. Thanks so much!
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  • Kimberly
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    I just thought that would be uneven. Just needing some ideas.
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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    I get that, I think we feel this weird urge to make things even but then realize they don't have to be. My cousin had 8 bridesmaids and her husband just had one best man. One and zero is more even than that!
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  • Kimberly
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    That makes me feel better because every wedding I’ve been to has either a large wedding party or less than 3 but always even but I never felt the need to do that. I’m happy just having those we love watch us get married. Thanks for your input!
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  • Kristin
    Devoted December 2021
    Kristin ·
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    We aren’t having a wedding party. We just didn’t feel the need or want to burden any of our friends with it. (Plus every bride I know says they wish they hadn’t had one lol). The people that love and care about us will be there celebrating whether they stand next to us or not. But if he really wants to have his cousin stand next to him as support I don’t see why not. I doubt anyone will even notice, or care, that he has a best man and you don’t have a maid of honor.
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  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    You don’t have to have them be even. I do think that you and FH need to have a serious talk about what’s important to each of in reference to your ceremony. Is it really important to you that it just be you two and the officiant standing up? And on the flip side is it really important to him that he have his best friend standing by his side? A compromise may need to be made. However, even if the decision is that no one stands he can still have a best man and have him sit like someone else suggested.
    My husband and I had our kids as our wedding party. His 17 year old twins and my 9 year old daughter. So he had two on his side and I had my daughter on mine.

    No wedding party 1

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  • Kimberly
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    Yes that’s another main reason people I know have said having a wedding party made things more stressful lol. We just started to talk about the ceremony and this came up because he thought traditionally you had to have a wedding party. Thanks for your advice!
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  • Kimberly
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    I love this idea. We have a 10 year old and 5 year old who will walk down the aisle before me as ring bearers. We do want them standing by our sides too. We have talked today and comprised on having the kids and his cousin and if my best friend can make it she will be standing next to me as my moh. Thank you!
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  • Kristin
    Devoted December 2021
    Kristin ·
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    There are actually some super twisted reasons behind having wedding parties if you ever look it up! I’ve been listening to this podcast that’s all about the history of wedding traditions and some are so crazy (like the wedding parties) lol
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  • Donna
    Savvy May 2021
    Donna ·
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    I’m not having a wedding party because I planned my wedding in a short period of time. Like someone mentioned above, I did not want to burden my family or friends with trying to cover the costs in such a short period of time. A plus is that you will have one less thing to coordinate.
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  • Fred
    Expert April 2022
    Fred ·
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    As a compromise:You can have a Bestman + a MOH , 0 groomsman, 0 bridesmaid.

    "my best friend lives across the country and will be in a family member’s wedding a week after mine": Could you ask a cousin or sibling to be your MOH? A MOH doesn't have to be a girl.

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