No wedding party?

Have you already asked them? If yes you are stuck having them. You can't relieve them of their "duties" without hurting them and possible ruining friendships forever.

I have no wedding party either - my moh is my best friend and she lives 1800 miles away from me - So I have been planning and doing it all by myself... there is nothing wrong with that thought!!!

View Quoted Comment With 54 days left shouldn't they at least respond?

They should definitely be responding. That's crazy. Did they buy their dresses or anything for the wedding yet? If not, if you want to change your mind then I don't blame you. They might not like it, but if they haven't helped and they haven't spent any money yet, doesn't seem like it would make any kind of difference to them anyway. Pretty messed up they aren't doing anything at all.

View Quoted Comment No they haven't bought anything.

View Quoted Comment

This seems like a strange situation. I cannot imagine that the wedding party has not purchased dresses yet, with the wedding coming up next month. Has there been a real lack of communication all along?

Everything is depending on what you and your FH want. Our guest list is anywhere from 50-60 guests. We are each having 2 bridesmaids/groomsmen. So much easier. We have our closest friends standing up their with us. If anyone is upset then that is on them. They need to deal with that themselves. Whatever will make your day run smoother and removes the stress off of y'all.

None of them should need to be helping, so let go of that part.

If they aren't responding to phone calls (ALL of them aren't?!) maybe they feel like you are overbearing. I would try to check in on them as your friends rather than as your wedding party. What's going on in their lives? Are they super busy w personal stuff? You are friends with these people, right?

Did you ask then to purchase a specific dress? If so, then if they don't have it by the day of they can attend as guests. If they have some flexibility in choosing a dress, they can find a nice one the week before.

When you have your actual friend check in (not a wedding check in), if it sounds like they have a lot going on or have hit some financial troubles or something, you can gently say that you would love for them to be in the wedding, but don't want to cause any additional stress or burden for them, and that you will not be upset if they would rather attend as guests so they don't have to worry about any of the wedding party stuff. Then let them make the decision. You don't kick people out of your wedding party.

View Quoted Comment No has to be done quickly because a charity is donating most of it because of my chronic/probably terminal illness. It wasn't in my power

I’d plan to do everything without them if they aren’t responding. if you had told them the dresses you want etc hopefully they come through, otherwise just let it be you & your fam.

We are having about 40 guests. We each have 2 kids. 1 boy 1 girl for each of us. Kids are 12-19 yrs old.
We considered having them be our wedding party but then said nope. Not gonna deal with headaches of “how much longer, these outfits are horrible”
while they will wear coordinating colors so we look good in our family pics... that’s it.
So no wedding party at all.

If they haven't bought anything yet and they're completely disengaged, then I think you can politely tell them you've decided to just keep things simple and not have a bridal party. If they ask why, then you can be honest with them and tell them it's causing more stress when they aren't responding to anything. I was a bridesmaid in 3 weddings in the past year and we were all completely engaged in the process. Only once was one bridesmaid not as engaged bc she was finishing college and exams, but shed check in with us every once in a while and was super engaged on the actually days of events like the bachelorette and bridal shower. People get busy, but not responding at all isn't right. Just my opinion! Personally, I wouldn't be having it. I'd have said something, given them the chance to step up then told them nevermind if they didn't but that's just me. You don't need that added stress.

I had also previously asked 2 friends to be my brides maids. You are NOT stuck with them if you've already asked like some have said. My friends were so understanding of me wanting it to just be my FH & I. If you want it to be just your FH & daughter go for it. Everyone else will live. Some ppl will give you greif but It is YOUR day. YOUR pictures. YOUR event. I went with no bridal party for the same reason. Btw it's so much less stress. I'm incredibly happy with my decision.

View Quoted Comment I’m so sorry to hear you’re I’ll. I’d say just do as others have said and communicate with them—perhaps via phone with each. Say you don’t want to cause them stress if they don’t want to participate. Say you’re fine with it, that you would love for them to be there in any capacity. Give them the option.

People say its mean to kick people out of your wedding party but honestly its your day. If they are not responding let them know how you feel and kick them out gently. It happen to me and they respect my decision. Follow your heart and do what best for you. It is your day.