No wedding, no gifts, but let's party! How to communicate?

I really don't want gifts. I really don't want anything (not even cash because I did not register). I just want to say goodbye to my peeps in this area (am moving to him after the wedding) and to say hello to his peeps when I move.

We will host the hell out of both parties, we are not at all trying to save money (just trying to save people the pain in the ass of traveling and also being super conscious of his parents not being able to come).

So how do we word invites (Mom's are hosting both receptions) so that people know we want them to come, eat until their bellies explode, drink until they need Uber, and for F's sake, not feel like they need to bring presents!

We legit have all we need. We just want to make life easy on every one, host a great party, and live a happy life.

Maybe... We'd love your presence, but no presents ??

@QueSeraSera we thought about that, but have since learned that most people interpret that as a request for cash. We seriously just want to have a big azz party!

Honestly, I would just say nothing about gifts (including no registry) - if people ask directly, you could tell them you really have no expectation or desire for gifts. Saying no presents may be interpreted by some as "cash only, please". You can't stop people from giving you a gift if they really want to!

Ok, "no presents/cash"

Or don't say anything about the marriage and just say it's a giant going away party

Please No Gifts. OR if you prefer: Consider a donation to our favorite charity The ____ Society.

How about be honest like that? They know you. Make fun invitations

People will usually always bring presents though even if you request not to have any. I think if they want to bring them just let them.

Make it a going away party - not something to do with the wedding. That may help reduce them. Be prepared to accept whatever people do bring because some people will bring gifts. My fiance's best friend just did something very similar to what you are planning and so of course, we weren't invited. We had dinner a few days after the wedding and my fiance would absolutely not go without a gift. To him it was something he wanted to do. Don't tell people how to spend their money or how not to spend it and know some people would want to give you something.

People will likely give you money regardless. Just spread by word of mouth you don't want gifts/money and then just go with it whatever happens. Some people just feel awkward attending a celebration of marriage without bringing a gift, even if you tell them not to.

It's kind of rude of mention gifts at all, even if you're saying you don't want them. I'm always a bit put off by it on invitations because it presumes the guest was going to give a gift in the first place.

Don't register, then let close friends or family pass "no gifts" around by word of mouth. If someone gives you cash, accept it gracefully. Some people just like giving gifts!

I know not to mention gifts at all, my friends just keep telling me that folks will interpret as cash. I love the idea that Anna proposed - just being legit real. Like on the invite saying - For Realz - no gifts...like..at all! My friends know me and might find that funny. I worry that it is still an etiquette breach and a few (who don't know my sense of humor) might go, "Oh, we should get them a gift then?"

I seriously wanted to make one a Going Away party and the other a Welcome Home party, but my BFFs are tripping. They keep telling me that people will still see these as wedding parties. Ugh.

I just like to bring a gift and would bring one no matter what! Haha

Don't mention wedding anything.... it's a going away party mention wedding people will want to bring money/ wedding gift just make no mention of wedding and that'll help. :+)

@annakay511 - see, that's why you're not invited. :-)

@Harleybeachbride - I know you are right. Now to convince mom of that.

@Nancy

Wow, so surprising to read your post as you are always a stickler for old fashioned etiquette on other threads. Any mention of gifts whatsoever on an invitation is a faux pas. It implies that you were expecting them.

@OP

Do not register and spread it through word of mouth that you do not want any gifts.

Kirackle is correct. Don't refer to gifts at all on the invitation. It's a faux pas. I would have a party separate from your wedding if you don't want wedding gifts.

Don't mention the wedding, simple.

We won't mention the wedding at all. Per my BFF, since everyone will know we just got married (and that our Moms don't generally host parties on our behalf) they will perceive the parties as wedding related. I genuinely fought her tooth and nail that if it was a going away or welcome home party they would not be perceived as wedding related. My BFF seems to think that regardless, due to timing, and the fact that Moms are hosting, it will be perceived as wedding related and that they should bring gifts.

Is BFF just nuts?

My parents did a no gift wedding as well. They just told everyone by word of mouth, but perhaps a spot in the invitation that says "please let your presence be our present" or "your presence is gift enough"