No wedding gift from parent

Etiquette is that you have up to a year to be gifted. But if it's your mom just ask her. Maybe she didn't want to bring it to a wedding.

Your wedding was just days after Thanksgiving leading up to Christmas, which is already a very stressful time of year for everyone. Perhaps she has something to gift you at Christmas and had to wait to get pictures, florals from your wedding to put it together?

The best mindset with wedding gifts is to appreciate them but not expect them. I don't think it's polite to attend a wedding, enjoy a free meal and open bar, but not to give a gift, but other people may have different opinions, just not know they should give a gift, etc. Your mom may also be waiting for a less hectic time to give you a gift, be waiting for pictures to come back, or some other unexplained reason as well.

I'm sooo very sorry. You never know what was going on until you ask. When you can chat without being full of emotion, you may be able to understand. Until then, try and focus on your husband and happier things. I know it's easier said than done but the effort alone may keep you distracted.

You said you and your mother are close. Tbh, I would consider having a mother who gave birth to you, was there for you, and has remained close with you the greatest gift she could ever give you. There are so many brides on this forum who have toxic relationships, or no relationships at all, with their mothers. And others who have suffered the loss of a parent. Rather than count the gifts you weren’t given, I would focus on the blessings you were.

Good night first off congratulations on your wedding.I feel so sad for you that your mother did not help.I would ask her why she didn’t help me and see what her reply is.But honestly as long as you and your husband are happy that is all that matters

Maybe she couldn't afford to. People including family are not required to give at a wedding. I wouldn't even bring it up (tacky) even if it is a family member.

Etiquette says guests have 12 months to give a gift if they choose. But also gifts are optional and not everyone sees them as a must have token of their love. Some people don’t give gifts for personal reasons only they know and others may have financial reasons. Accept her attendance as the gift. Parents are not required to pay for anything, and not everyone has money they are comfortable giving away. Instead of confronting her and making the situation worse, talk to a counselor about your feelings and how to work through them.

Love is the greatest gift of all! Your mom and the relationship is worth more than a gift from a store. I wouldn't listen to the voice that's telling you that you've been slighted, focus on what is just and good. Life and the ability to enjoy it is most important. Take this one off the plate - nothing to be done here. Best regards,

I never respond to these things, but I felt compelled to for you. I am VERY close with my mom. I don't know your mom, so I can only speak to my situation and how I would feel in your shoes. I am 56 years old and getting married for the second time after being divorced from my first husband for 23 years. My mom has dived into this wedding as she did the first. She is willing to help with anything I need. With my first wedding, I relied on her so much even though she was in the middle of a horrible divorce from my dad (who also jumped right in and is marrying me and my fiancée this time around) and under a tremendous amount of stress. This time, she just flew up from California (I live in Idaho) and went wedding dress shopping, even splitting the cost with me. Does your mom normally help you with big events in your life? Is this out of character for her? Are there any underlying factors that would put her in a state to not be able to assist you, whether it be financial or with the chores of putting together a wedding? Based on your answers to those questions, maybe an approach would be to ask her if she is okay. Find out if there are things going on that you don't know about. Then you can figure out the best approach. I do agree with Athena that speaking with a counselor is a good idea. It will allow you to work through the process and take the appropriate steps in a healthy way that won't jeopardize your relationship with your mom. Take your time to figure out the best approach to the situation so it does not cause unnecessary issues. If I were in your shoes, I would be incredibly hurt because it would be so out of character for my mom. I also get where other people are saying to focus on the good things and blessings in your life. However, you are human and have feelings. And those feelings are normal. You are allowed to feel them. Take care of your mental health and find the path to a solution that will be best for you and your mom. Whether it be no gift (and yes, technically they have a year) or no help, you are hurt. That is understandable. I would be too, to be honest. But that is based on the past history of my relationship with my mom, and dad for that matter! I hope you can work through this so as to not carry any resentment.

Me being the person I am I don't expect anything I just appreciate people being there and showing unconditional love/support. And to be hurt over something materialistic is kind of weird to me IMO.. But if yall are close maybe ask her and see what she says..but her being there and showing support should be enough, because some people dont even experience that.

Hope this helps.

View Quoted Comment

I think she was relaying her hurt over the fact that her mother did not seem interested or vested in her wedding. Depending on the relationship a daughter has with her mother, it can be hurtful, and she is entitled to feel her feelings. I think everyone has focused on her saying something about a gift when I really see the problem more about her overall hurt that her mom didn't seem very interested in her wedding or helping her in a way that maybe she normally would.

View Quoted Comment I get what you’re saying but what she said and her title is about not receiving a gift….she said she’s clothes to her mom so hopefully she just have a conversation with her. Goodnight.

View Quoted Comment She herself said that she is upset over her mom's lack of gift, so yes that's why everyone is talking about the lack of gift. However just because it's your mom doesn't mean she has to help with a thing. Lots of families don't show much interest in planning, not many people are really going to be excited as you about wedding stuff and planning.

View Quoted Comment Ya'all are harsh for not knowing the full situation. I am happy to be surrounded with wonderful friends and family who are both loving and offer their help in my life in general. She will need counseling simply because of the responses on here.

View Quoted Comment It is wonderful you have a loving and supportive family and friends. Unfortunately not everyone is as blessed in life.

View Quoted Comment Rachel, my hope for you is that you can have an honest conversation with your mom and let go of any resentment. It really comes down to you and your personal feelings!