No under-21 guests

Don't include the except for wedding party part. Someone said it on the other post, it's better not mention that part. Guests just have to understand. I think your wording for no kids under 21 is good enough. Being clear is good. I know some place said it's rude to write adult only type language, but i don't think so. It's much easier when you don't have to worry about how appropriate things are for minor.

I wouldn't put anything. "Adults Only" is relative anyway - most people will consider 18 year olds adults, and telling people they aren't invited isn't very nice. Only address invites to those invited and you should be OK. Yes, you may have to tell a few people, but usually people get push back about younger kids/babies, not adult children (which is what it sounds like you mean?). They will get it.

I am being straight forward and writing on my invitations and website "Adult only ceremony and reception to follow." I am also addressing the invites to the exact guests invited. In my FH's family you can not leave anything up to chance and someone is always looking for a loophole to drag their kids along.

Are you addressing the envelope with the individual names or listing the names of invitees on an inner card? For instance my FH has an aunt with 3 children (in college) we are inviting. So I'm not sure if I should list all names on envelope or on inner card?

Thanks ladies! I think I'll keep it short and sweet on the website. Mentioning the juniors might even seem like there's room for debate.

I know that it should be clear who is invited based on how the invitation is addressed, but I also don't think people pick up on that unless they've planned their own big sha-bang or if they spend hours on WW weekly like me. LOL

My hope is that people can find out on the site and can be pissed in privacy - much better than having angry, uncomfortable conversations later on.

Really? No one under 21? I understand no children as they can get bored at weddings and can sometimes be disruptive, but unless it's an alcohol issue with your venue I've never heard of teens and young adults not being able to come. I also come from a large family and have some teenage cousins that I can't imagine not inviting.

@Malaeika, I think all of the names should be listed on both...formally on the outer card and informally on the inner.

I'm ordering invites from Minted and they don't offer outer/inner envelopes, so I'm not entirely sure. Etiquette says the "kids" over 18 should get their own invitation too, but naming everyone in the household individually on the same invite is okay, IMO.

@KWToBe, we're having a smaller wedding and can't extend an invitation to everyone. My family is enormous and the under 21s are FH's 3rd cousins...we had to cut it off somewhere.

We did 21 and up - the legal drinking age here. Our venue charged the full-adult rate for ages 13 and up. And we had a few possible guests under 13 whom we know would have requested an adult entrée. There was no discount for the 5 hours of open bar.

I'm sure the venue set-up the pricing that way, to discourage underage drinking. Had we had guests under 21, each guests would be required to show a photo ID, at the bar, which would have been time consuming, and what if guests forgot? I think we got a discount on our event insurance policy, too.

Invite the exact people, on the invites, that you want to come. If people add anyone you don't want, you let them know that you have a finite guest list. As soon as they deviate from your invitation.

Don't mention the bridal party children.

Keep it simple and keep the conversation to a minimum.

We have a young adult's price - same food cost as adults, but without the extra charge for the bar - so it wouldn't have made a difference for us. It's definitely an added bonus that we can eliminate any concerns with underage drinking for all the reasons you mentioned, Dreamer.

That's the plan, Celia! Hoping the brief line on the website will prevent any conversation at all. We put the Save the Dates in the mail today, so hopefully we can avoid the drama when it comes time for the formal invitations.

Wait, did you put the save-the-dates in the mail over a year before your wedding date?

We cut ours off at 18 as to allow little sister. Other than that we cut off family after 1st cousins. If we hadn't done this non of our friends would have been invited.

You don't have to feel guilty about your decision to have only guests over the age of 21. That is a personal decision, and it is up to every couple to invite whomever they want. The sad thing is that it now requires website announcements (and for some brides, a notice on the formal invitation). That shouldn't be necessary. The invitation is addressed to one or more particular individuals in a household -- not every family member (unless their names are all on the envelope). If the invited guests cannot abide the fact that other family members were excluded, they have every right to decline the invitation. Calling or texting the couple to ask for an explanation is rude. As for the couple, if you are asked to explain your reasoning, keep it to a minimum (as in, "We had to work within boundaries." The end. The more you talk, the more opportunity there is for a discussion that you really don't want to have.

Yes @Jacqui76 - all of our friends and family have actually been asking for the details for months now since the wedding is OOT. We have everything finalized, so there wasn't any reason to wait until the exact year mark.

Exactly our situation, @Sassy Cincy Bride! We had to cut it off somewhere and this worked for us.

Thanks, Centerpiece! We are preempting FMIL's warning that the some people won't come if their "kids" aren't invited. See https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/fh-fmil/b170253fe1d81613.html for details. LOL We don't feel guilty at all, and if guests can't come because we didn't invite their whole family, then that's their decision and we understand. We have our canned response ready should the questions come.

Is there any chance I could run some ideas past you about our centerpieces? You always have such great advice, I wonder if you'd mind sharing your insight and experience with me.

18 years olds aren't "kids". However, you don't have to invite anyone you don't want to.

That's why I have "kids" in quotes throughout my posts.

We are having an adult only ceremony and reception. 1. It is clearly stated on our website. 2. We have verbally told several guests. 3. On the response card it states "Two seats have been reserved for you." We actually have a cut off of 25. One of our guests has 2 children. The oldest is 22. The youngest is 19. We didn't want to invite one and not the other. We have received a lot of push back, but are standing firm. We simply can't afford to invite everyone.

@KitandKaboodle, how did you customize your RSVP cards for the number of guests in the household? I want to do this, but wasn't sure if it would be possible unless it's DIY. I'm ordering through Minted. Come to think of it, I only have a few where there's more than 2 people invited in the household so maybe I order a custom version for the exceptions.