We're here to help you keep moving forward, no matter what your plans are.

Michelle
Rockstar October 2022

No toasts/speeches

Michelle, on January 5, 2021 at 12:52 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 11
Saved Save
Reply
This is not something either of us are interested in and also the folks we plan to ask to be honor attendants do not speak in public in front of strangers.


I've only seen them done twice (including thank yous to the guests at one) and both were very uncomfortable but they seem to be expected/required regardless which makes no sense whatsoever as though no one should care about the couple's comfort level

Did anyone else skip them? Is there a way to tell people beforehand absolutely no speeches?

11 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on February 11, 2021 at 6:13 PM
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
    • Flag
    If you have a DJ, I would let the DJ know that you're planning to skip the speeches, and also let your wedding party and parents know as well. That way, everyone who would normally make a toast knows that they don't need to prepare one, and the DJ would know to not give the microphone to anyone who asks to make a speech.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    Luckily those who will be asked to be in wedding party are too shy to consider giving a speech in the first place. Parents said they don't feel it's their place to give one. I'm worried that someone outside those groups might randomly decide to go ahead anyway.
    • Reply
  • Erin
    Expert May 2021
    Erin ·
    • Flag

    We will be skipping the speeches as well, I typed up a thank you on the back of the wedding program .

    • Reply
  • Neeva
    VIP September 2020
    Neeva ·
    • Flag

    I think most won't miss the speeches and won't even notice so no need to announce this to your guests! Just plan the rest of your timeline and let the DOC/DJ or whoever is in charge know

    • Reply
  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
    • Flag

    I think it's fine to skip doing speeches. If you're concerned about odd people trying to say something any way, I'd give your DJ instructions to NOT give a microphone to anyone and to keep control of the party. However, I do think it is important that the B&G acknowledge their guests and let them know how much they appreciate their attendance. There are a few ways you could do that without giving a speech -- you could make table visits (if Covid-restrictions don't preclude it) where you and H make time during the reception (typically just after dinner) to visit each table for a minute or two and express your appreciation. You could potentially have your photographer accompany you while making your visits and use it as an opportunity to get a photo with each table grouping. A second option would be to do a receiving line either immediately after the ceremony or at the start of the reception where you and H greet each guest personally. The potential downside is that guests can get stuck waiting in the receiving line for a while, which is never fun for them. A third option is that you do some kind of a written & printed acknowledgement -- as a pp mentioned, it can be in the wedding program if you have them, or it could be a card at each place setting, or possibly attached to a wedding favor. Personally, I think every B&G should attempt to have a brief personal interaction with every guest -- that's just good manners -- whether they give a speech or not. Good luck!

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Where we are from it is very common to dismiss rows after the ceremony which goes pretty quickly. It's considered rude in our area/families/social circles to invite people to the reception only so that ensures everyone is greeted.
    • Reply
  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Great! That's a perfect solution to greeting/thanking guests, so I think you're covered. Just give your DJ a heads up to control any potential rogue speakers and you've got a great plan!

    • Reply
  • Apryl
    Devoted March 2022
    Apryl ·
    • Flag
    I'm not planning on having toasts or speeches. I was just going to let the lack of a toast or speech speak for itself.


    Also I'm realizing now that a friend didn't have toasts or speeches at her wedding and they weren't missed at all.

    • Reply
  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
    • Flag
    It’s totally fine to skip them. Just make sure that your DJ knows so he doesn’t give the microphone to anyone and let your family and BM and MOH know since they would typically prepare something.
    • Reply
  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
    • Flag
    We skipped them. We didn’t do any sort of advanced warning, except for speaking to the people that would’ve done them (Best man was absolutely not interested, so I asked my MOH and she said she didn’t care either way— so we went without). That was the extent of notification. None of the guests were looking for speeches, no one seemed to care.


    To be clear though, H and I did get up in front of everyone for a quick thank you! That felt important to us.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Excellent idea

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics