Katrice
Beginner September 2019

No small children at the wedding

Katrice, on July 17, 2019 at 12:55 AM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 14
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My future husbands family has lots of kids. I'm okay with it but we are paying $35 for plates for 125 adults. Honestly I'd like to have a quite ceremony with no babies crying in the background while I'm getting married. So my invitations are specific "All Adults". It's a formal setting as well. And the grooms family hasn't assisted with anything at all. But my family and friends have nearly paid for everything. $12,000 budget $8000 is already paid.

Am I wrong?

14 Comments

  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle ·
    I completely see where you're coming from. I didn't want kids at our ceremony because I didn't want the chance of a baby crying or of kids screaming. So I asked people to leave their kids in a nursery at the church where the church nanny babysits for the duration.

  • Katrice
    Beginner September 2019
    Katrice ·
    View Quoted Comment

    I'm getting married at a venue so there's no private space other than my dressing room and that's a no for $5,000 Alex.... I am so there.....


  • Jessica
    VIP September 2020
    Jessica ·
    It’s completely up to you and your FH. My FH and I have two kids together, so they will be part of the ceremony and reception, and only a couple of our guests have kids. However, we are invited to a friends wedding this fall that is adults only and we just planned with my mom to babysit. No big deal. You may get push back from some people, but it’s your day and you can’t and shouldn’t worry about trying to please everybody. Happy planning!
  • Katrice
    Beginner September 2019
    Katrice ·

    I don't think my FH get's that part! We had a mini argument about it. I'm 54 so the majority of our quest will be very mature... My kids are grown with g-kids. They will be in the wedding party but that's it. Girl, I need prayer, oil, chanting, to say the least. Thank Jessica!

  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
    Just say no kids. There's nothing else to do but hold your opinion. That being said depending on what the norm is "babes in arms" or infants that may still be breastfeeding might be considered an exception. We've seen posts on forums before where guests said no kids and we're unhappy when a breastfeeding infant showed up. So just be aware of that
  • Caytlyn
    Champion November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
    Does your FH agree with this decision? If so, no, you’re not wrong. It’s up to you who is invited to your wedding. You didn’t say if your FH’s family was giving you pushback or what the real problem is, so I’m not sure I’m understanding properly.
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    Particularly for a formal ceremony, or an evening and night time ceremony and reception which is not appropriate for children, people almost never quarrel if you set the bottom age at high school or older, or 8th grade or older ( where high school is grade 10 and up.). It is hard to make a case against resistance of close family, that 14-18 year olds cannot behave or carry on conversations in an adult situation. And drink non alcoholic beverages. Though easy to have no one not out of high school with distant relatives and friend's kids you do not know. Banning them is easy. I am a mother of 5. And party hosts are not responsible for my child care. We had the kids, we are. It is and always has been easy to say, fine, no one under 3rd grade, or 6th grade/ 12. Formal occasions, an adult situation down , stay in a seat for hours with no other activity, no kid stuff, no electronics, 4-6 hours, with only couples dancing, kids would be happier with a trip to the park and an ice cream the next day. If you do not build up the wedding, they don't care. At kids used to meals on time, sitting a Max if 2 hours politely and quietly with company manners, and in bed at 8 or 9 at home, just have a hard time with formal adult settings at 5-7 hour events. But now that our oldest is turning 14, tenth grade in the fall, as when we were teens, it is hard to say, not appropriate for an aunt, uncle, first cousin wedding of someone he sees 30 times a year. You CAN restrict kids at any age. But with family, provided you have different provisions for infant care, it is not tough to ban those where everyone can say, that kid is old enough for a babysitter, and too young to act like an adult for so many hours . There are always one or two who will complain. But there will be people who complain about having fried shrimp and a baked lobster tail, because when they chose it a month ago they did not know they would have it the previous week in a restaurant. Some people will complain about everything . And some people think everyone else's wedding should be a whole family reunion, with all cousin's kids. You can say no to that. Your wedding is a milestone ceremony, and a formal reception to follow. Not a reunion, not a night of uncontrolled drinking, or any other thing some guests want.
    Even my now husband's bissiest sisters and SIL and aunts stopped complaining when we pointed out that by excluding over 18 months* under high school, it meant cutting 167 family children .
    ( We had an on-site nursery room for babies. We had planned it as an option. Then found out that by an ordinance ( I think county) no child under 15 months could be left in a hotel or motel or in with even a family babysitter if not own parent. And not baby noise from nursery was heard in the ceremony, or reception, all night, though nursing mom's, and parent check-ins, happened all night. But no babies in the ceremony room.
  • Katrice
    Beginner September 2019
    Katrice ·
    View Quoted Comment

    I'm ok with the new babies, it's the ones who are spoiled and cry for no ungodly reason. I think I'm going to say that "no kids"! Thanks Kelly

  • Katrice
    Beginner September 2019
    Katrice ·

    Judith! Volumes... Thank you! I don't have any space for babies so it's a wrap for me! I think I'm going to stand my ground, it's MY DAY and I want a ceremony without wondering if someone's baby is going to cry..... Thank you

  • Katrice
    Beginner September 2019
    Katrice ·

    He wants the kids there! I don't! Most of his family hasn't received the invite yet.... 0_0 My family doesn't have any little babies.... It's a formal affair so, I'm pulling the ranks on this one.....

  • T
    Dedicated September 2019
    Teresa ·

    You're completely right!

    I was just at a wedding that had a lot of kids and I thought it was a bit of a drag. (One girl took off her diaper while her Mom ran around the dance floor while everyone was dancing to try and catch her...not cute!)

    Having kids at your ceremony completely changes the feel of it and if that's not what you're looking for...parents will have to find a babysitter.

    If he absolutely insists on having children attend, then only have a select few that are not still in diapers and can sit at a table without being scolded.

  • J
    Dedicated April 2020
    Jennifer ·

    The only kids we're having are in our bridal party too! People will understand, and may even like that they get a night off!

  • Katrice
    Beginner September 2019
    Katrice ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Oh WOW! I didn't even think about that. Thank you..
  • Katrice
    Beginner September 2019
    Katrice ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Oh Lord! I'm just going to hold on to my no!

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