No shows, very hurt. Advice please

Unfortunately you probably will have no shows at your wedding. No advice, other than at this point since they were invited to the shower you really do need to invite them to the wedding and hope for the best. It's frustrating, even moreso when there's no excuse.

We had a family of 4 no show to our wedding - my cousin and her family who we didn't even want to invite in the first place. She texted her sister to let her know she had come down with strep so they couldn't make it. That would normally be fine since it was a 3 hour drive for them, except for the fact she told her OTHER sister two weeks before the wedding she wasn't going to be able to make it. So instead of telling us she had to change her RSVP before we put in our final numbers, she "called out sick" and cost us $400. Didn't even send a card or text or even Facebook message to me. I saw her on Christmas and she didn't say a word to me then either. Some people are clueless. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Ughhhhh I hate people

View Quoted Comment That is unbelievably frustrating!! I’m so sorry 😫😫😫👎🏻👎🏻

I'm so sorry! We had 2 no-shows at my shower, and 2 people cancel (one the day of and one the night before). I'm sure you still had a great shower, so I'd just try to forget about it. Unfortunately it happens at all events. We had a catered graduation party and had 10+ no shows out of 60 so wasted a good amount on food for them. I'm sure we will have a few for the wedding too.

That happened at my shower as well! Luckily only three people RSVP'ed yes but didn't actually end up coming. My cousin had the stomach bug and was still attempting to come anyway!! That was crazy to me but obviously she didn't end up coming. FH's aunt's FIL passed away and she needed to be with family. I totally understood with those two because they were both very unexpected situations and I know they would have attended had they not occurred. While I can understand those two, I cannot understand and am still slightly mad about FH's brother's fiancé. They moved in together the week before my Sunday brunch shower and she told my FMIL that morning she "didn't feel like coming" because she had a lot to get done and was starting back up at work Tuesday morning. I was incredibly hurt by her actions and felt like she should have RSVP'ed no if she knew she wasn't going to make it or she should have come for an hour or two. I had several guests who were busy and couldn't stay until the end but I was super appreciative that they even came to celebrate with me.

Maybe I am petty, but I just wouldn’t invite them to the wedding. That was beyond rude, and they did not even apologize to you.

View Quoted Comment I'm kind of on board with you. I get that you're supposed to invite them to the wedding if they're invited to the shower but they no showed. OP if you don't want to deal with them, don't invite them. If you plan on having a relationship with them in the future, you should invite them.

My FH is a DJ and in May worked a wedding where a bride had 35 or so (I can't remember the number!) no show at the wedding. I don't know any details other than the fact that she sat in the dressing room crying her eyes out because of it. I know technically you're supposed to invite them but it's so rude, and if you're worried about them not showing on the wedding and costing you $$, I don't think I'd invite them either.

Honestly I don't care if it's rude not to invite them, it was rude to cancel like that. Don't invite them if you don't want to.
Unfortunately people are like that, try not to take it personally.

It was in appropriate for them not to contact the shower hostesses. However, in a case of a party in someone else's honor, you never ever call the person being honored. You call the hostess. Who does not come to a party for the bride, or someone's birthday or anniversary, is not supposed to be known by the bride. Or birthday or anniversary people. Which means you should not retaliate for their being no shows. And if you don't send invitations, after they were invited to come give you a second gift in addition to your wedding gift, it looks like you are saying, no second gift for me, then you can't come to my wedding. I know it is aggravating. But leave no shows at the shower between the shower hostesses and their guests who did it. You should not be following the issue. That is standard etiquette across the board, not just for weddings. People should not be any part of planning parties where they receive gifts or honors, except to provide iverall potential guests ( wedding guests, family or friends, or a club or other membership.) And though the bride may list all guests, she should not choose them , the shower hostesses invite only as many as they want. And as honoree, you should never have been told, who was not there because not invited, it because they cancelled it no showed. Your hostesses should never have shared that information, so if you say anything, or do anything based in it, you and they look like nasty gossips. The no shows are the ones wrong. But you are not the one injured.

We had 20 no shows to our ceremony. Families or couples who didn’t show up + people who rsvpd their family but came alone.

never really spoke to most of them again. Only 1 had an emergency but never replied to me until I saw her in person months later. I have NEVER missed a wedding (been to tons) that I RSVPd yes to. Ridiculous.

If you’re having a buffet at your wedding, order less than the rsvps. We just got married on July 6 and 28 ppl didn’t show. I feel very hurt by a few of them. Some had legitimate reasons but the majority didn’t. I wish I had told my caterer even 10 less bc we had tons leftover. Not to mention all the other things that cost us extra (drinks, linens, centerpieces).

Unfortunately, at weddings, you tend to find out who your true friends are...