No-shows and early departures

We had RSVPs for 132. Including 11 kids.

Final headcount last night? 108. Including 9 kids.

I sent out save the dates. Folks RSVP’d yes. I limited our invitation list and turned away teenage kids of friends who wanted to attend due to really tight space. I sent out a reminder email ten days in advance with “extra info” and a link to the wedding website just to be sure folks had it on their minds. We had to give our final count to the restaurant a week in advance - I was billed automatically for that number.

Five people told me last minute (day before or morning of) they would not be there. No advance notice from the others. Heard at the wedding regarding 4-5. All were sending apologies via others - for reasons that were easily known more than a week in advance.

We paid for our reception by the person. At $84 a head. We had assigned tables so folks would be certain to be with those they knew. At one table five of nine were last minute cancelations or no-shows.

it was still a beautiful event, but at a cost of over $2,000 extra for no-shows. Ugh. This doesn’t count folks who failed to tell me they would be leaving immediately after the ceremony (there were a number of people who told me they were only going to be there for the wedding and that was fine - we joked that they were saving us a fortune), that was probable another $1,800 right there.

Apparrently this is a thing. My wedding planner says this happens at every wedding. There are always people who do not show. My gut told me to put in a head count of 110 - but I didn’t want to cause issues with the restaurant or seem cheap. Looking back 100 would have been safe.

sigh.

Has anyone else experienced this?