No seating plan!

@Natalie check out my post on page 3 about how it's NOT a regional thing. NO, it's not a southern thing. It's a rude social circle thing.

Open seating is a short cut that the wedding couple take to avoid the work of a seating chart. This pushes the work on to the guests. Quite a few of them will know this.

The last wedding I went to was for a college friend of mine. DH didn't come with me because it was on the other side of the country and he didn't have time off. The only people I knew at the wedding were the bride and one of the BMs (another friend from college). I'm an introvert. Cocktail hour (no seats, passed apps) made me anxious. No seating chart would have been excruciating. With a seating chart, I knew where to go and the bride had put me with friends of hers from grad school and some college friends of the groom, so we were all about the same age and had enough in common that once we introduced ourselves, we could have a good conversation during dinner. I probably would have left if there wasn't a seating chart.

I found the seating chart a breeze. Truly it wasn't that bad. Just do it with your fiancé and do NOT elicit opinions from family on it. THAT was where the headache came from.

I assigned tables. People can pick who they say next to, but I had full tables if people who got along and THAT was important.

My sister didn't assign tables or Gavin any seating. Her best friends parents ended up sitting outside on the patio where staff set up a table just for them because there wasn't a spot for them inside

It's your choice but personally I think no seating plan is a bad idea. I just went to a wedding 3 weeks ago and it had no seating plan and it caused a lot of resentment. They had a sweetheart table but nothing else was labeled. Not even for the bridal party. Long story short I was told by the venue owner to sit next to my FH who was a groomsman and got snotty looks and "told on" to the bride by the bitchy bridesmaids who were pissed that their dates/husband's that were in the bridal party couldn't sit at the same table. I know that it might seem stiff or uptight and might be a pain in the ass but really rethink at least assigning groups to a table, then let them decide where they will sit at the table. It causes lots of confusion when people have to sit themselves...

We are not having a seating plan. We are having about 80 people. All of which are family. We will reserve 3 tables near us for parents, and wedding party.

@Michelle, I encourage you read through the comments as you will see how not having seating plan (with exception of "VIPs") is a logistical nightmare and can be perceived as rude.

At my sister's wedding she did not have a seating chart. My Grandmother, 88 and uses a cane, had to walk all the way to the back to find a table because my sister's friends were sitting in the tables near the front. Family was spread out all over (indoor, outdoor, and balcony seating) and were telling people empty chairs were being saved because they were looking for family members that were seated elsewhere.

My sister found out about this a few months after the wedding when an engaged family member said a seating chart of assigned tables was a must and my sister said you don't have to. That's when story after story got told to her and she was highly embarrassed.

Michelle W. - even with all family there are others I prefer to sit with and may not be able to. I urge you to reconsider

I wasn't going to have one and was going to have mixed seating. But then I read all the cons listed here. We are now having all regular tables and assigning tables.

Yes, we do, I've seen nightmares where the bride's parents were in the back, grooms parents, up front, family members, everywhere, it was a hot mess! So we decided to do a seating chart. Family and wedding party are up front, and everyone is seated accordingly to with the table numbers!

I'm not doing one, every wedding I've ever been to hasn't had one And I loved it that way! I'm very shy and hate being told where I have to sit ( prob since in school we always had assigned seating that did not bode well for my panic attacks)

I went to a wedding yesterday that didn't have a seating chart. It was a mess. Take the time and assign tables.

@Beachdreams I have read through the comments. It has not changed my mind. I have only been to 1 wedding with assigned seating and it was a nightmare the day of for the bride and groom. They said if they could do it again they would do no seating chart. Like I said we will have around 80 people all family. All my FH family will fit at one table. Just because some of believe a seating chart is best does not mean I need to do the same.

@vc, thanks for the suggestion. But I have my mind made up.

So I have a quick question for everyone who is dead set on seating charts..

I'm type A, super planner and love the idea of one.

However, I feel like most of our friends will not take RSVPing seriously and they'll forget or just not. So at that point, what do you do? I'd hate to make out a chart then have surprise people show up and them end up hating where they sat because they didn't RSVP.

Please do a seating plan with that number of people. I would hate to be that one person who doesn't know anyone and have to relive high school cafeteria days on the first day of school.

Marleyanne22... I would reach out to the people to confirm if they're coming or not just incase. Send a follow up postcard lol.

No but seriously imagine setting for 100 and 5 extra people show up. Now someone's gotta figure out where they're gonna go.

Marley, you should call those people and get their RSVP over the phone then.

Good idea @Mrs Sasswood!

We'll see how it goes, I sent out invites last week and haven't gotten any back except verbally (which is completely fine!) I just hope others actually RSVP