Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Savvy October 2021

No Save the date but invitation-rude?

Lala, on July 18, 2021 at 6:04 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10

Saved

Flag
Hide content

Hi All,

Getting married in October, I sent my save the dates super early back in Jan, and kept my save the date list pretty limited because I didn't want to send a save the date and then have to make the decision on who to tell "sorry" to incase of COVID. Well, looks like things are changing (but still being cautious due to the new variant). We are well below the 50% threshold for our church and reception space and I would like to invite those I wasn't able to send save the dates to. Unfortunately, some of these that I would like to invite are part of a larger friend group where some received save the dates.

Is this rude? I haven't sent out any formal invitations. I don't really see this as a "b-lst" since everyone will be getting the same RSVP date, and invitation at the same time. But, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

Flag
Hide content

10 Comments

Latest activity by Jacks, on July 19, 2021 at 7:00 PM

Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on July 18, 2021 at 6:13 PM
Flag

Hide content
A save the day by telephone is valid and very common. It’s how your grandma and mom let people know there was a wedding bed invites were sent.. You can invite whomever you choose. As long as invites go out at the same time and there is no B list so everyone has the same reply due date, there is no issue. It’s not rude to not send a save the date postcard.
- Reply
Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on July 18, 2021 at 6:19 PM
Flag

Hide content
No. Not rude because it’s the invitation that really matters. Save the dates are not a must. However it would be rude if done in the opposite direction…. Sent a save-the-date but you don’t send an invite.
- Reply
VIP June 2019
Hanna · on July 18, 2021 at 6:40 PM
Flag

Hide content
I don't think this would be rude at all. Some people don't even send save the dates at all so receiving only an invitation without a save the date would not strike me as abnormal whatsoever.
- Reply
Rockstar November 2054
Jacks · on July 18, 2021 at 7:04 PM
Flag

Hide content
Nope that's not considered rude by etiquette standards! Have a great wedding!
- Reply
Super October 2022
AJ · on July 18, 2021 at 11:16 PM
Flag

Hide content
Not rude, if it were reversed it would be.
- Reply
Master October 2020
Yasmine · on July 19, 2021 at 9:12 AM
Flag

Hide content
No it's not rude at all, go for it!
- Reply
Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on July 19, 2021 at 9:58 AM
Flag

Hide content
Not at all. Save the dates aren’t required, and you went about it correctly— everyone who got a save the date must be invited but that doesn’t mean you can’t invite those that didnt. I didn’t send save the dates to our local guests (largely because they were mostly my parents friends and they’d be the first to get cut from the list jf we had to cut down for any reason! But also because they didn’t need to arrange for travel or anything, so saving the date wasn’t very important!). Still invited them, no offense taken nor drama. Frankly even without the save the date I know one was still expecting an invite as she had conversations with my mom months in advance about what she was planning to wear 🤣
- Reply
Super July 2023
Eniale · on July 19, 2021 at 11:17 AM
Flag

Hide content
Think of it this way:
STDs are commonly sent out 4-6 months in advance, sometimes more.
Invitations are generally 6-8 weeks in advance.
There is a 2-4 month gap between them that you could make new friends who you want present! (One of my best friends, we met in July last year - and by November were having Thanksgiving together.)
Nothing rude about this. I doubt anyone will ask why they didn't get one.
- Reply
Savvy October 2021
Lala · on July 19, 2021 at 2:06 PM
Flag

Hide content
Thank you so much everyone! I feel much better.
- Reply