No RSVP - Still get a seat?

Did you call them? If not, I would call them and get an answer that way. If they don't answer, say "Hello so and so, I need your response for my wedding by X date, and if you do not get back to me by then I will mark you as a decline."

Call them. If they don't answer leave a voicemail.

If they don't call back or respond, I would assume they are not attending and they wouldn't get a seat.

Can you keep calling them? You have almost a month.

Hi Sweetmosey! If they don't answer after your follow up attempts, then it's completely fair to not reserve them a seat. If you've made multiple attempts to find out if they can come, what more can you really do?!

So if my deadline was a sunday, Id give them until Wednesday to allow for slow postal service. Then I'd start calling, leaving messages if the dont answer. If i dont hear back from them whatsoever by the following Wednesday, and I dont have someone to ask where they might be (i.e. "Hey Mom, do you know if Aunt Beth has said anything to you about the wedding? I havent heard back from her and I cant get a hold of her.) then I'd say they dont get a seat at the reception.

I would reach out to them first, preferably by calling them, to confirm. A lot of times people forget, or the time goes by fast and they meant to respond sooner but didn't.

These are presumably adults. If you don't get a response to an email/phone call, send a group email to them telling them you're sorry they won't be attending, and you'll miss them, but their sorry rude ass response to your invite led you to believe they were uninterested in coming.

Okay, only partly kidding.

You should not have to keep calling them, that is, I'm sorry, bullshit. If you don't hear from them by your deadline, send them a terse email that says you'll miss them. The end.

These are presumably adults. If you don't get a response to an email/phone call, send a group email to them telling them you're sorry they won't be attending, and you'll miss them, but their sorry rude ass response to your invite led you to believe they were uninterested in coming.

Okay, only partly kidding.

You should not have to keep calling them, that is, I'm sorry, bullshit. If you don't hear from them by your deadline, send them a terse email that says you'll miss them. The end.

I'm going to try to keep calling, etc. I need my final count to caterer by May 13 and my seating chart figured out by May 8th so I can order it in time.

Thanks for the info!! It's so annoying. You're right though, the ones I have been able to contact were like, "Mo, I'm so sorry, I forgot!"

So, is there any wiggle room at all with the caterer? I would absolutely give them the warning of being marked as a decline if you haven't heard, however would you actually kick them out if they showed up anyways?

Our venue prepares 10 extra of each meal choice for things like the vendor meals, people who change their mind, and people who show up without rsvping.

We'd have to pay for them of course, and they also charge a fee if people swap out their meals (which I think is ridiculous) but I just can't see kicking someone out if they show up.

Hi date twin!

UGH. I know I'm going to have to do the same thing. My RSVP date is May 1st, and I'm still missing a ton.

I think leaving a final message and saying "Hi [friend/relative]! I just wanted to check in with you. RSVP's were due on [date] and I need a final headcount by [date]. If you're planning on attending, please call/text/email/facebook me to confirm. If not, I'll assume that you won't be attending and you'll be missed."

@Mrs.K - I believe there may be wiggle room and he always prepares more too, but my venue is small and I would love to get rid of some tables if I can to have more walking room.

I would never turn anyone away. My coordinator might though!

Do you guys have an "overflow" table? I went to one wedding and they did have a table for those who did show up without the RSVP. It wasn't decorated as nice, but they had a seat.

Definitely keep calling and let them you know you just want to make sure they have a seat and a plate at the wedding. Good luck! Eta: spelling and below was a double post sorry

I feel if you have made attempts & you still don't get a response, then they don't get a seat reserved. You have a deadline as well too.

I didn't have an overflow table, but I also knew that between my wedding planner and venue coordinator that they could figure it out with an extra seat and meal at the last minute if necessary! Also the chance of having a few last minute no-shows is much greater than having guests who didn't RSVP show up!

I would call them, and if you don't hear from them, don't give them a seat or meal

I wouldn't kick someone out if they just showed up, but they wouldn't get a meal and may or may not have a place to sit (unless someone else no showed).

If you make every effort to contact them and they don't give a response, not much else you can do. I would be more frustrated with having to pay for overflow table plates and then they still don't show up.