No rsvp but still show up!

We're going to give it a couple of days following the deadline to follow up with guests. I'm going to call my people and FH is going to contact his.

You should follow up with non-RSVPers after your deadline has passed. Let them know if you don't receive a response by x date that you will assume that they're unable to make it. That's a pretty clear hint that they won't have a meal or a seat if they show up unannounced.

First, let the date pass and then follow up with those who haven't responded.

Since you won't have a seating chart I would plan to have at least 10% extra chairs and tables since your guests will not seat themselves efficiently. Your caterer will likely make extra food as a precaution. They usually plan for an additional 5% no matter what. It is also likely that you will have no-shows, people who RSVP'd yes but don't come. There is plenty of wiggle room for these situations.

We reached out to every single person who didn't RSVP and confirmed if they were coming or not. We had one no show, everyone else who came had RSVPed. We still planned for 5 extra meals though just in case.

So we did have some extra seats such as some tables were 9/10. I had said if we do get extra unexpected people then they can fill those spots. Otherwise I'm not accommodating anyone further. We did get that happen to us. But luckily they were kids of people in the tables with an open spot so it worked out.

This is exactly why you should follow up with anyone who hasn't RSVPd by the deadline. Wait until a few days after the deadline has passed, then reach out to all the non-responders by phone or email, asking them to confirm whether or not they are coming. If you are forced to leave messages, make it clear that "if we don't hear back from you by XX date, we will have to count you as a no. We're sorry you won't make it." or something like that. Your caterer needs the most accurate head count you can give them. That actually saves you money in the long run, since venues/caterers often charge extra for anyone not accounted for. If it's a large list of non-responders, get help from FH, or other family to track people down.

I agree with most people here that you need to reach out to those people and explain that if you don’t hear from them you will count them as a no

We're inviting about 75, so far i've gotten only 4 RSVP's and one was a decline. What we did was order food for 100. It cost a bit more, but by doing that we were able to not have to pick it up ourselves and have it delivered. I have a Facebook event page for the wedding, so I have some people who've let me know on there, but I did have one, my FH's sister actually ask me if she had to send it back since she's definitely coming. I though no, I sent you an address/stamped postcard because I didn't want it back

View Quoted Comment I’m going to try and do that but since I do work full time and have 3 kids it’s going to be hard. FH works in the oilfield so he will be leaving early next week for his 14 day hitch.

View Quoted Comment I’m going to try and do that but I’m not sure I worry I won’t be able to get in contact with everyone. I work full time with 3 kids at home and FH works in the oilfield. He’s leaving early next week so he won’t be able to help

View Quoted Comment I really hope it works out this way for me. We will definitely have extra seating since where I’m from a lot of friends just attend the dance and not the dinner or ceremony. So it’s just the food I’m worried about

Agree with PP. Follow up. I have no idea why people can't throw a prestamped RSVP in the mail or go on a simple website to RSVP.

How many people haven't responded? Could another family member help?

I don’t know of people who say they’re not coming and then show up. If you haven’t heard from them at all, you need to follow up with them for a concrete answer. Otherwise ....plan for them all to come. Without follow up, there’s no way of knowing if maybe they actually DID rsvp and their card just got lost in the mail (or similar computer glitch if online rsvp). We waited a week after our due date before following up, and in that time MOST of the stragglers had reached out independently to give us an answer.

*following up does not need to be a big project. A quick copy & pasted text/email/fb message just saying “hey! We haven’t received an rsvp card from you and need to submit a headcount to the venue soon. Will you be able to attend?” is sufficient. Don’t need to call and chat, and also fine to ask via a 3rd party (ie I invited my aunt and uncle and all EIGHT of their children and their spouses — If I hadn’t heard from all the cousins, instead of reaching out individually, I’d kill all the birds with one stone and just ask my uncle “hey can you find out which of your kids will be there for sure?”)