Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Just Said Yes August 2020

No one to share with

Michelle, on August 23, 2019 at 12:36 AM Posted in Planning 0 7

Saved

Flag
Hide content

I feel frustrated that my wedding day has finally been chosen and I have no one to talk to about it. I think the roots stems from my mother passing unexpectedly about a year and a half ago. I know she would’ve been really excited to help me with all the plans and ask questions and even be there to tell me I should not wear too much lace. My aunts are being wonderful about it.They even went with me dress shopping, however they are constantly traveling. (Living life to the fullest) Plus I always thought it would be great to plan the stuff with my girlfriends and have them there as I was there for them on their day. But things of changed and the people I really thought were going to be there for me have things going on in their lives and I understand that but even when I try to ask some simple questions, I get “we have time your wedding is not until your way.” One even suggested that I was spending too much on the wedding and that I should’ve gotten my dress from a thrift store just chosen something white and do like a quick barbecue. Do the whole thing for less than $1,000. Please girls you can tell me if I’m being petty or selfish. It’s just I never really buy anything for myself I’ve always saved and been responsible and my fiancé and I have been together 10 years and we put everything else in front of ourselves to be there for family through thick and thin and make sure that everyone else is OK. Is it bad for once I want someone to be excited for something that I’m doing for us. I know people say that they’ll get excited once the wedding is a lot closer. The thing is I work on a cruise ship I’m gone for months at a time on contracts. There’s a good chance on this next contract I won’t be back until literally two months before my wedding. Btw as for spending too much, my whole wedding doesn’t break the bank. P.S I found my dress😊
Thanks for any and all feedback!

Bridal party of one

Flag
Hide content

7 Comments

Latest activity by Shanita, on August 23, 2019 at 4:14 PM

Legend June 2019
Melle · on August 23, 2019 at 12:52 AM
Flag

Hide content
Everyone on wedding wire loves wedding related stuff so we share in your excitement as future brides/past brides. No one else but other brides usually share in that type of excitement.
- Reply
VIP September 2019
Yam · on August 23, 2019 at 3:26 AM
Flag

Hide content
Agreed with Melle. No one cares about the wedding nearly as much as the wedding couple, they’ll get excited to see your dress or maybe hear there’s an open bar but overall they don’t care, and that’s ok! You can still have fun picking things out.
I feel you on the “less than 1000” crowd. No one in my family places any value on wedding days, it’s all about the marriage. They love my FH as a son, they just think it’s a waste of money. I’m a pretty frugal person and I still got push back for trying to have a more traditional wedding.

If you want to talk about your wedding, there’s tons of brides and even married ladies on here excited to talk about centerpieces and all that fun stuff, they know a heck of a lot more about weddings than I do and they’ve been a great resource.
- Reply
Expert May 2021
Danielle · on August 23, 2019 at 9:43 AM
Flag

Hide content
I understand you. Yes I too want to just talk everyone heads off with the wedding. I just overload myself on the Internet wedding sites etc. I keep calm about it UNTIL someone asks me then I feel like it's not a bother. My wedding is 8 mos out so my text too friends aren't answered right away because their mom's too but I know for sure I'm planning something great no one will soon forget. In the end ppl want the bang!
- Reply
VIP October 2019
Ivy ORP · on August 23, 2019 at 9:58 AM
Flag

Hide content
I am so sorry for your loss.
Talk to us. We are here for all the dress pics, requests for advice, and even an ear for venting. I know it's not the same, but please don't feel alone in this. I have friends from many walks of life. Some are the potluck in a free community center venue, some are no expense spared types. We aren't going all out but we certainly are planning on making this a relaxed, semi boujie event with people we love. It is hard when some of them don't get some of our choices but it isn't all about them.
It is stressful, even more so when you don't feel you can talk to people. I can't imagine planning a wedding while being deployed (grew up around the military and don't know any other term that would fit) so my hat is off to you. There is time, but you have every right to be excited and want to get tasks completed while you can. I hope this is only a short down moment and the rest are exciting and joyous for you.
- Reply
Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on August 23, 2019 at 11:59 AM
Flag

Hide content
You're always welcome to talk all things wedding on here! That's what WeddingWire is for! I'm so sorry for your loss
- Reply
Master May 2021
Cristy · on August 23, 2019 at 12:58 PM
Flag

Hide content
Congratulations Michelle!! And welcome to Wedding Wire!!
Most of us can relate to what you are feeling. We have all had to learn that nobody will be as excited as we are about our weddings. But I have found this website, and these forums to be a great source of comfort, laughter, and advice!! Come back and chat anytime!!
I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother. Even though I lost mine many years ago, this is my first marriage, so all these things I thought I'd be sharing with my mom, I'm having to do alone. It's good that you have relatives (your aunts) who are trying to fill in that gap left by your mother's passing. Lean on them whenever you can. It will help.
In the end, it only matters what you and FH think about what you spend, vendors you hire, what kind of wedding you have. Try not to be too bothered by the opinions of others. There's something about weddings that seems to bring everyone's opinions to the forefront. Just do what you and FH want for your day, and you'll be fine. Good luck, and happy planning!!
- Reply

Dedicated September 2020
Shanita · on August 23, 2019 at 4:14 PM
Flag

Hide content
First...BIG HUGS to you, I know it must be hard not having your mom there to share with . Everyone bride has a vision and it is always disheartening when someone crashes it with a comment about how they would save money and just do something else. I have learned to very politely dismiss those comments and keep it moving. That's why I love these forums so much. I try not to drown my family & friends with wedding talk...which I can talk about for hours (I've literally been on WW for hours at work lol.) Your Bride sisters are here for you to share anytime you want! And YAY on finding your dress!!!
- Reply