No longer insterested in Sex....is this normal?

I sadly don’t have any advice, but I just wanted to say you’re not alone and thank all of the lovely ladies who have commented. I’m a little younger than you and am having the same problem. A few years ago, I was very, very close to having cervical cancer (not an official tumor, but enough mutated cells to go into surgery a week after diagnosis). It took one large surgery and a handful of in-office procedures to finally be ok-ish a few years later. I’ve dealt with so many emotional and physical feelings for the past three years, and it’s just worn me down. My husband has been supportive but I feel like he doesn’t fully understand what I went through. It’s hard for me to want to have sex due to a complexity of emotions (feeling diseased, associating that area with pain and procedures, etc). We had the biggest fight a few weeks ago about it because he feels rejected (emotionally and physically), and it just hurt me so badly because that’s the last thing I’d ever want him to feel. I’m hoping to talk to my OB/GYN at my next checkup about this and see if there’s a hormonal issue or something. If not, we’ll go to a therapist.


I don’t mean to hijack your post, but I wanted to reach out and say you’re not alone. Keep talking with your husband, even if it’s not a fun conversation. I understand when you say doctors keep brushing you off — when I was in the early stages of my treatment, my OB/GYN said in a few years I wouldn’t even remember the pain or procedures. Surprise! I do! 😅 If you can, maybe a therapist would be more understanding. I wish you the best of luck!

View Quoted Comment Are you intimate in other ways, ie holding hands, sharing glances, kissing, verbal acknowledge of love and desire? What excited you in the past? You mentioned cysts, do you also have endometriosis? Don't mean to pry, this can be very frustrating, hope to help you find a resolution.

Joining the chorus of therapy.

But please don't think something is *wrong* - you could be asexual, or demisexual, which are real orientations, and perfectly valid. A competent therapist should bring this up, and be able to explore it with you, to get you answers.

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Not really intimate you could say. I mean we kiss goodnight sometimes, and on occasion goodbye when one of us is leaving for a day or two. I honestly can't remember what excited me in the past, besides traveling and/or being spontaneous. Now life has turned into a same ole boring pattern, and it's pretty much daily. I do have cysts, no endometriosis.

View Quoted Comment In that case, I recommend that you work on your intimacy. Enjoy each other without the sex. Hugs, cuddles, appreciate each others physique. Think about what attracted you to him and what turns you on. Make plans to do things you enjoy. There is clearly a disconnect that is happening emotionally and physically.

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Our relationship has always been that way. I mean sex was really the only intimacy we have had. It's been this way for the past 6 years since we started dating. We don't do the hand holding, kissing, glances, verbal cues, etc. It was always sex and cuddling. Which we still cuddle at night before going to sleep.

I have noticed that our interests are very different. He would rather go hunting, fishing, shopping, or anything outdoors. Whereas I would rather enjoy things that involve knowledge and enlightenment such as plays, art shows, festivals, traveling to explore different cultures, etc.

COVID-19 has put a damper on the things I enjoy so I have gone fishing a couple times with him.