No kids

You would simply address the envelopes with the names of the people from the household that are invited. For example you would only write the parents names like “Mr. and Mrs. Jones”, “Joe and Janet Jones” etc. You can also write on the RSVP card “2 seats have been reserved in your honor”. If people text or call, simply say “I’m sorry but we can only accommodate those named on the envelope.” Don’t mention why or they will try to suggest “fixes” to the situation.


Writing things such as “Adults Only” “No Kids Please” or “Age 10 and up Only” is considered a faux pas as the etiquette is to write about who IS invited, and not about who isn’t invited.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. I've been looking for a delicate why to put it

We use adults only on our invitations bc we didn’t want children there other than the ring bearer and flower girl. I had no issue with it. It is an option to use. It all depends on the perspective of people and how the see it.

View Quoted Comment Thank you I was worried it might cause a problem

I agree that you should address the invitation by specifically naming those who are invited. If there is an inner envelope then the outer envelope is addressed in the parents' names and the children's names are written on the inner envelope under their parents'. If there is only an outer envelope all the names go on that. Similarly online invitations would include all the names.

I agree that Adults Only or No Children language clauses on an invitation are inappropriate but don't much care for the X of 2 seats strategy either. To me the latter implies that guests might overstep. Anyone who RSVPs for those not invited should just be contacted to say sorry for the misunderstanding but the invitation was meant for you and your spouse.

There's nothing wrong with discriminating by relationship, for example children who are nephews and nieces only. That's completely fine. I don't think that being in the wedding party is justification for excluding other similar age children who are close and related to you in the same way, though. If that's the case I'd do all or no children of siblings.

I have been back and forth about this. I have children and when we have our day, they will be 14 and 12. I think I am going to say 12+ only. Reason one because they are more likely to eat, and I am paying for the meals per person. Reason two I just don't want them to have to be alone all night while adults do adult things lol.

When I was younger, I was the "family sitter" so I always watched the little kids when there were weddings etc.

“While we love all your kids, this will be an adults-only event with the exception of those taking part in the ceremony.” We’re doing the same!

View Quoted Comment I love the way that sounds.

We just told them with giving them time to prepare for it. We said it once we started planning because it is a adult reception with a lot drinking and adult things thT children should not be apart of and begin our so late as well. Because also the kids get bored really quickly plus also to give the adults a break so they can enjoy themselves. And i was getting anxiety about breakage and someone getting hurt and the crying and screaming of kids during the ceremony. Some didn't like that idea but if they couldn't make it that they should give us notices. I hope that everything goes according to the way you both want it. Happy planning

Agreed with people here.

We had "Adults only" in a way that fit on our invitation (they were video game themed) and inside said "Adult reception follow". We also noted on our wedding website that kids weren't allowed outside of our two nephews in the wedding party (page boys/ring bearers), but that newborns (<12 months) still breastfeeding were welcome (they are more manageable than kids who can run around, and I wouldn't want to force a mom to leave her new baby behind with childcare if she doesn't have to).

We also included a Q&A section on our website that detailed all this and also mentioned that only those addressed on the invitation were invited and in our invitations we included a card that specifically stated the number of seats reserved for them.

We love kids, but we're among the last of our friends to get married so most of our friends have kids and when we initially made the guest list, if everyone invited with kids brought their kids, it would've been 40-50 kids at the wedding. That's like 4-5 extra tables! When we told this to people, even they were like yeah that's way too many kids, haha. It's not a classroom and it wasn't in our budget to hire on-site childcare or provide children's entertainment on top of everything else.

That said, many of our friends with kids have stated that they're excited to come and drink with us and some friends from out of state are just flying in their own nanny (or parents) to care for the kids while they party.

View Quoted Comment Those are my concerns as well. But I plan on putting it on the save the dates as well as the invitation so everyone has plenty of time to plan accordingly

View Quoted Comment I love the Q&A idea! I will definitely be using that on our website! Thank you!

View Quoted Comment Yes exactly plenty of time I wish you happy planning you guys big day

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much happy planning!!!

View Quoted Comment Oh I'm done with planning we are married now 3months now

View Quoted Comment Aww! Well congrats!!!

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much

Kids are tricky because when you have a select group of children allowed to attend and other guests have to find childcare which may mean that their partner has to stay home, no one will ever go to you and say they are hurt or offended. It’s due to that politeness that couples feel that their guests love all the decisions made, which is not reality.


Some guests will be highly offended at the inconsistency and not say a word. Other guests may not see any issue and feel that anyone who is upset is overthinking to the extreme. On the flip side, couples who invite all kids end up offending some guests who anti-kid, so no one wins. There is no one size fits all answer. Do what works for you and be prepared for any fallout that occurs as a result.

It’s an etiquette faux pas to state who is not invited on the invitation. I would follow w “2 seats have been reserved on your honour” approach.