No kids

That's what I'm doing allowing kids at the ceremony and on the invite I put to be followed by an adult only reception

We placed on her invitations/RSVP that no children where allowed it was an adult reception then when people asked we said they could attend the ceremony but the reception no because we are serving alcohol and didn't want children around for that type of party. Everyone seemed to understand.

"Adult Reception to follow"

If kids are in the wedding party you can make an exception, but you don't HAVE to.

Expect to get push back, and to have people just flat out disregard your wishes though.

The only kids in the wedding are the 2 flowrgirls. My daughter and his daughter. Some people I have spoken to about this say they wont be going to the reception if kids arent allowed and I tried to explain to them that alcohol will be served and don't want the kids around that.

Fine. It's their choice. No one HAS to attend your wedding. Kids or no kids. As long as you and FH are there, there WILL be a wedding. Everyone else is optional.

PS - I'm fine with my children being around people who drink socially, and at celebrations such as a wedding. I'm also fine with hiring a sitter when my children aren't invited.

Ashley you still have time so don't let anyone strong arm you on your decision. For those that have children if they don't want to attend the reception because they don't want to look for a sitter then it will be their loss not yours. This is for you and your FH to enjoy those that want to celebrate your union. We have a few people tell us that and we kindly said OK we can replace your plate with those on our back up list. I had 8 people back out last minute and quickly replaced them with our back up list who was thrilled to come and help celebrate. Always have a Plan B.

You've made a decision, now they can make theirs. As a parent, there are lots of choices to make; this is one of them.

I was thinking about having a backup list just in case people say they arent coming for whatever reasons. The one problem i do have is one of the bms said they wouldnt come since they have 4 kids.

We're putting "Adult Reception to Follow" on our invites and I've already mentioned to the few on our list that have kids that no kids are allowed. We don't have any flower girls so it's not an issue as far as them being in the wedding party. If you don't want kids at the reception then stick to your guns.

My aunt tried to do the guilt thing when I mentioned to her and my cousin that no kids will be there. My cousin's daughter who will be 6 at the time is our goddaughter and when I said no kids, my aunt huffed and said "Well that's your goddaughter" I told her "I know who she is and we love her, but she will not be at our vow renewal." And that was that.

So it looks like I'm going to just let my bridemaid with 4 kids make her on decision whether shes going to try and find a babysitter or not

I look at it like this. People do what they want to do and find ways to do things that are important to them. If the people on your guest list were going to a club, concert or somewhere where they absolutely could not bring their children, they would have no problem finding babysitting arrangements. All of a sudden they have to bring their children with them. Puhleeze. But that's just my opinion. lol

You're right lol

Ok here's what I did - and yes I know it didn't exactly abide by wedding etiquette...

I did online RSVPs - no response card, I used WW's RSVP tool. Above the RSVP tool, I put "Please RSVP only for those listed on your invitation. Adults only ceremony and reception, please."

Kind of forward but some people in my family don't have manners or know etiquette and wouldn't have understood unless I was super direct. I also had BP and my mom do word of mouth.

Rude or not I have zero qualms of saying adults only. I am very adamant about this.

But would it be rude to say my nephews and niece and his nephews can come to the ceremony but then they have to go home? I love my nephews very very much and would love for them to be apart of my ceremony but at the reception I dont want kids running around, adults drinking around them and its less money to not have to add the extra 10 kids (give or take) and create a kids menu.

I don't think it's rude at all.

I'm allowing my children and our nieces and nephews if they wish to bring them. I mentioned immediate family only. The rest, so sorry no kids. Putting Adult Reception (18+) any where I can. On our invitations and all over our website. I haven't sent our invitations yet but I've been spreading the word and so far no issues. I know some may not come and that's ok. We will have the important ones there to share our day with.

"While children are a blessing and a joy, we respectfully ask that this be an adults only ceremony and reception."

We are putting this onto our invitations.

I agree adult reception to follow make sure you tell all guests just expect some declines over it.

The only children allowed to the ceremony and reception are the ones who are in it.