Brittney
Dedicated November 2021

No Kids wording help!

Brittney, on September 8, 2020 at 11:26 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 3 24
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I’m in the early stages of planning out wedding invitations and I know I want to state that we will not be having children unless immediate family at our wedding. I will definitely be putting “we have reserved x seats in your honor” but how would I explicitly state that we will not be including children? And where would I put that information?

24 Comments

Latest activity by Ashley, on September 9, 2020 at 6:16 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag

    I wouldn't put anything about who isn't invited on the invitation, that's not what they're for. If you have a wedding website, that would be more suitable.

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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag

    Maybe on the RSVP card we invite you to an adults only reception or in the invitation state that it is an adult only wedding. I would be transparent as some people will assume kids are allowed.

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  • Kara
    Dedicated September 2020
    Kara ·
    • Flag
    We put on our wedding website “respectfully this is an adult only reception”
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
    • Flag
    I wouldn't put anything on the invitation itself. Guests should know who is/isn't invited based on who the envelope is addressed to. Maybe list that information on your website, or ask your immediate family to share that information with extended family, etc?
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  • Natalie
    Devoted January 2022
    Natalie ·
    • Flag

    It shouldn't go on the invitation or RSVP card itself. If you include a reception card maybe it can go there (I would phrase it as being adult-only). And you can include it on your website. On your invitation just ensure you name everyone invited explicitly and don't use "The Smith Family". Also do include the "X number of seats reserved in your honor" phrasing as that's pretty explicit.

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  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
    • Flag
    After seeing this go horribly wrong at a friends wedding, we have decided not to follow the old fashioned etiquette of just addressing it to whoever is invited. My friend followed that etiquette- she addressed the invitations to specifically who was invited, leaving the children’s name off the envelope (pretty much no one caught onto that at all). She also put X amount of seats are reserved (people wrote in their children’s names). She included the info on their wedding website, and only a fraction of the guests actually read it, and of the ones that did, a lot of them ended up calling her questioning her about it. And the day of her wedding... multiple people still showed up with their children! After her experience, she advised me not to pussyfoot around the subject, and just blatantly let people know that their children are not invited. We had already printed our invitations, so it was too late to include them there. So, we ordered details cards which clearly state in bold print that all guests must be 21+ Of course we will also be addressing the envelopes to only who is invited, and including the information on the website and RSVPs as well. I know old fashion etiquette dictates otherwise, but let’s be honest, no one really knows the old wedding etiquette rules anymore, and most likely guests won’t pick up on those subtle hints. Most parents today just assume their children are invited to weddings, unless explicitly told otherwise. If you do not want to include the information on your invitations or details cards, you could always follow the old etiquette rules and then just personally phone all the guests with children to let them know that it will be an adult only event.
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    We didn't include it on the invitation. We put it on our wedding website. Since you are included x number of seats have been reserved that should be plenty on your invite. That's what we did.
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  • Erin
    Expert May 2021
    Erin ·
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    This!! this is my fear!! i am gonna save this

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  • Trisha
    Super October 2020
    Trisha ·
    • Flag

    We Put Adults Only On Our Wedding Website RSVP Page.

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  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
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    Unfortunately not everyone will follow that guide as to who is invited based off the envelope being addressed to. Or some people will act like they thought it meant the whole family. I've seen it happen a couple of times when I was in previous weddings.


    You are going to want to be transparent on who is invited. I'd put an information card in with your invites, state on the information card that it is going to be an adult celebration and I would also put it on the website.

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  • Paige
    Devoted August 2020
    Paige ·
    • Flag
    As much as we love your children, this is an event for adults only
    Leave no room for misinterpretation
    • Reply
  • Alma
    Expert October 2020
    Alma ·
    • Flag
    I stated “adults only reception” on my invites. Also Included on wedding website but I know not everyone reads the website info. It’s also word of mouth with my crowd. Envelopes only included names of those invited lol. Basically I did it all to be transparent cause I know my crowd. Lol
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  • Jana
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
    • Flag
    On the outer envelope, you do not list children's names. If you having a website, list your information there. Otherwise it is spread by word of mouth.
    On your reply card, if designing your own, you would list the names of those invited. If that is not an option, you list '2 seats are reserved for you.'
    • Reply
  • Hermione
    Expert February 2020
    Hermione ·
    • Flag
    Don't try to make it sound like you are doing parents a favor and be direct.


    "We respectfully ask to have an adults only ceremony and reception."
    • Reply
  • N
    Savvy May 2021
    Netasha ·
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    I completely agree! Never assume that people will “know”
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  • Ashley
    Savvy September 2020
    Ashley ·
    • Flag
    I put “ to enjoy the day with all of our loved ones, this is an adult only wedding”
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  • Denise
    Just Said Yes June 2021
    Denise ·
    • Flag
    On my invitation on the bottom I put adult only reception to follow, but to make it more friendly on my details insert I put "Even though we love your kids, please make it a date night!"
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  • Brittney
    Dedicated November 2021
    Brittney ·
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    Yes! Exactly my fear. I know a few people on my guest list right off the bat that will just bring their kids unless explicitly told not to. I’m just trying to figure out how to say it in a respectful way to everyone but still being very clear that it is not a suggestion.
    I’m also not sure I’m even making a wedding website so I can’t really rely on that either. Thanks for the advise!
    • Reply
  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    Your situation is a bit more difficult than mine.
    We are not inviting anyone under the age of 21, regardless of relationship to us. so it was easy for us to simply say no one under the age of 21. Because you are having some children but not all children, it makes it a bit more difficult. If the only children you are inviting are in your wedding (ie Flower girl, ringbearer, etc.) then it’s no problem- just put adult only event on your invitations and/or details cards. However, if you are allowing children to attend as guests who are not in your wedding, you really can’t put on invitations that it is an adult only affair, because it’s not. If that is the case, you are probably best off just addressing it specifically to the parents, and on the RSVPs putting X amount of seats have been reserved for you, then call those people with children who are not invited & explain to them the situation. That would probably be the only 100% way to ensure everyone got the message & understands. if you don’t want to go that route, you could also include a note in the envelope with the invitations to those with children not invited. Something short and sweet that explains you have exceeded the maximum number of guests you could invite, so you had to make the difficult decision to cut all children who are not immediate family. At least then everyone will understand that children in your immediate family will be in attendance, and you will not be dealing with angry guests on your wedding day or them questioning you why other children are present when their’s couldn’t be.


    Sidenote: that actually happened to my friend as well. One of her guests (a coworker that she wasn’t even that close to) confronted her at her wedding reception, demanding to know why she was forced to get a babysitter that evening to attend her wedding when other people didn’t have to (when in reality, no children were invited but some people didn’t follow the rules). I Play is horrified for her. There she stood, in her big wedding ballgown at her own reception, having to explain herself to an angry woman.
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  • Tiffany
    Just Said Yes November 2020
    Tiffany ·
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    I have to second this - Similar thing happened with me. I always thought it was standard etiquette that only those on the invitation are invited & addressing “no children” on the website would be enough along with word of mouth.


    I still had so many people inviting plus ones or people not invited and still planning on bringing their children. I ended up bluntly putting it on the invitation as well as left it on the website.
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