No kids wedding?

Commenting to follow! Same situation here....

I am in the same boat and have had some family disappointed but it’s my wedding and I can’t afford every kid so I put on the invite “leave the littles, we love your children but we have limited space and intend to party. Please make it a date night xoxo”.

View Quoted Comment How is that working for you so far?


Are there any families not getting offended?

I feel like your wedding day is not going to be convenient for everybody but it's your day and you don't have to answer to anyone. I would just wait until the invitation and just let people know nicely that it is an adult-only wedding. If people are offended then they just don't have to go or they have to find babysitters. I agree that weddings are nice but sometimes it's just time for adult to be able to relax and I have to fill to themselves or watch their kids. Also it's okay that any kids in the wedding party are allowed to attend but other guests can leave their kids at home and if they're that offended then they don't have to go to the wedding and restoring. Don't back down because you don't need to give in to others for what you want to be your perfect day. I don't really need to say anything now but if anyone asks to say that you are having an adult only reception that doesn't mean that you don't love your kids but you just want a day to be about people that are 18 and up and don't even mention the other little kids at your wedding party and if they say something to you then forget them.

We had a no kids wedding expect for the ring bearer, flower girls and usher all of which are siblings and my husband's nieces and nephews. On our wedding website we included a FAQ page and that was one of the questions we had. We said that while we love all of your children that our wedding was an adults only wedding. No one really said anything to us and it wasn't an issue that we had children in the wedding. The only person that didn't listen was one of the groomsmen. In his defense, he asked my husband if the child could attend rehearsal and my husband said yes, but we thought they weren't going to stay at the venue the night before because it wasn't far from where they live, but they decided to so that meant the child attended. The child was only 5 months at the time so babies are a common exception.

The only children at our wedding were our (3) nieces. We didn't get any backlash from family, but we did have a few friends who had to decline. That was expected and we were fine with it. You don't need to make an announcement that people's children aren't invited, just like you don't announce to any other person that they aren't invited. Simply address your invitations to whoever you are inviting and specify on the RSVP card how many seats you're reserving for them.

Even if people start saying something they will get over it. If they are unable to make arrangements - well then... It's harder when it's a weekday wedding or a wedding of a family member (so that everyone who'd watch kids is at the wedding) but it's doable. We have done it on more than one occasion. And will always do it. I shall never take my kids to any wedding untill they are in their teens - a party like that is no place for them imo

My cousins on my mother's side and my church friends have a LOT of kids that I've never met.

We decided not to include kids because it would have added about 30-40 people to the guest count.

I talked to one of my cousins while we were trying to make the decision of how to handle the kid situation, and she advised that if we feel guilty not inviting kids that we could hire a few babysitters to watch the kids at a nearby location. That way the parents don't have to leave the kids behind if they're traveling for the wedding, and don't have to find a babysitter of their own.

I thought that was a good idea, but we decided to just have a no-regrets no-kids wedding and let the parents figure things out. The exception being FH's sister's kids, one of which is the ring bearer and the other one will be 9 months old (I didn't particularly want the baby there, but FH said I had to or else his sister wouldn't come, and his BIL is his best man so that would have been too much drama for me).

We're doing all of our RSVPs online so they way we're communicating that kids aren't allowed is by not including them as an RSVP option (you have to select your name and say if you're coming or not, so the kids' names won't be there).

We put it in the FAQ section of our wedding website and also included an insert with the invitations going to households with kids that read...

"Parents, we want you to be able to fully enjoy the wedding so we are requesting that all kiddos be left at home. Thanks so much and we hope that you can celebrate with us on our special day!"

Everyone respected our wishes and ultimately thanked us for the break.

It is fine to say no kids in FAQs, but please don't be cute and pretend you are doing it for the parents. You are doing it for yourself. Own it.

We aren’t having kids either, there would be close to 30. Yikes! I don’t feel even a little bit guilty, it’s no one else wedding except mine and my fiancé’s, we should be happy.

Stand your ground. Don't feel guilty if someone pushes back. Perhaps offer to help arrange a sitter or find good, reliable childcare for close family members.

Plus, as terrible as it is to say, do children even really like weddings? I know I thought the weddings I went to as a child were super boring because you had to stay in your seat all night, listen and be on your best behavior for what felt like hours on end. Most children won't develop the social skills to enjoy a wedding until they are almost preteens, so don't necessary feel bad.

We had an adult only wedding and we received no backlash. I think many parents enjoy the night to themselves.

We addressed our STD’s and invitations to those specifically invited (ex: Mr. and Mrs. Smith instead of The Smith Family). We also put the information on our wedding website stating we were having an adult only wedding.

View Quoted Comment I haven’t sent my invites out yet so not sure how it’s going to work out. It is what it is though. They can be upset if they want, that’s on them. There are some kids I want there but I can’t invite some and not others so no kids it is.

Screw them. It's your wedding. I had people stop talking to me because I only had immediate family (as in, brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews) as children, no extended family or friend's kids. 95% totally got it, the couple who didn't aren't speaking with us and I honestly don't care. Your special snowflake kids aren't that special.

There are tons of ways to address it, but putting "Childfree, Carefree Wedding" or something like that is cutesy. Most parents at our wedding were grateful they got a date night away from their kids (trust me, I wish I was one of them--my son was there and while people helped, we are his parents and still had to discipline him).

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I would usually agree, but apparently my bunch didn't get that. I put Mr. and Mrs. so and so on the STD and the Invitation and they were gearing up to bring their 2 kids with them (my sister told me this, as this is our cousin). I had to actually call my cousin and tell her that we could only invite immediate family and no second cousins. Well, we're still not talking because of it but she had bought her daughters dresses and booked a room for them, so not everyone knows those rules. Just food for thought for the OP.

View Quoted Comment Oh man I have a feeling I am going to deal with that same problem since I have a few family members who have babies.

View Quoted Comment I agree people should be more understanding, especially since it’s our wedding that’s we are paying for. Let’s see how this goes for me. Thanks for your input.

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I agree with you, Karen. It simply isn't enough to just put the specific names, because then guests can simply write the names of their children. And then you'll have to be the one to contact them and explain that there's no children allowed to attend. If there was transparency in the beginning, then they wouldn't of been surprised and if they still tried to input their children, then those guests would be just plain rude at that point. Good points!

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Yeah it sucks. Our generation of parents are very entitled in thinking their children belong everywhere and that it's not a problem. I hate it. I have a 7 year old stepson and I don't just assume that he's invited everywhere. It's frustrating and very rude.