No kids wedding

Hello there! This one can be hard for people but its your choice do what works best for you and your partner. Whatever you decide make sure to be consistent with it, if you bend the rules for some people it can quickly spiral. I think the wedding website is the perfect place to put this info you can word it a few ways:

Please be advised we will be having an adults only reception. We look forward to celebrating with you

We love your children but unfortunately due to space limits this will be an adults only event.

We respectfully request no children under 16 at the reception.

Unfortunately we cannot accommodate children – thank you for your understanding.

If some children are being invited to the wedding (immediate family or bridal party members for ex) you can note it like this

Due to limited numbers, we hope you appreciate that children are only invited if named.

Unfortunately we are only able to accommodate children in the wedding party at our reception

Best of luck to you and happy planning!

^ Everything Rosebud said!

One of the things that you have to accept with a child free wedding is that guests will be upset and some may decline because not everyone has childcare options at their fingertips and it’s not always as simple as finding a person on care.com and some don’t trust strangers they have not personally vetted even if the company has all the awards in the world. That will affect future interactions as well. Not all parents view a night out as a favor. Some people come from families where all ages are invited so an adult only wedding may be foreign in their circles. Also you do need to be consistent. Don’t pick arbitrary ages where the parents have to split up kids because not all 12 years or older are more behaved than those younger. While some may not have an issue with newborns or flowergirls in attendance, not everyone feels that way, nor are they always as non disruptive as everyone thinks. and others will be upset that favorites are being played and will not view them as exempt.


Traditional etiquette says that only those invited should be listed on the outer envelope, and if guests rsvp for their children, you need to call asap to let them know the invite is for adults only at that point. Always work with the assumption that many will not be visiting the website, as not every couple uses a website.

Hi Kelly! We are also having an adult only wedding. We decided not to invite anyone under the age of 21. We put that information on our website: “due to venue restrictions and the nature of the event, we are unable to accommodate any guests under the age of 21.” Also, I know a lot of people here on WW will say it’s old school etiquette to simply address the invitation to the parents and they will get the hint that the children are not invited. However, I think that rule has been mostly lost over the years, and younger generations are not aware of it. I know I have been to over 50 weddings, and until joining WW I had never heard of this. I have also attended multiple weddings where parents were not explicitly told that children were not invited, and they ended up showing up to the wedding with their kids in tow. Recently, I’ve noticed several invitations we have received to weddings have included one simple line at the bottom of the invitation that says “Adult only event”, which seems to be incredibly effective. I think most parents would much rather have it spelled out to them up front that children are not invited so they can arrange for childcare right away, and avoid a horribly awkward and embarrassing situation when they don’t “ get the hint“ from who the envelope is addressed to (which I think most people don’t even pay attention to!) and show up with their children. It’s so much easier to just be direct about it right from the start than to have to deal with awkward situations at your wedding.

We worded ours "Unfortunately, we are unable to accommodate children at our ceremony or reception." We also have our RSVP cards say "2 seats have been reserved in your honor" (or whatever number of seats there are for the people addressed on the invite) so there's no confusion about how many people the invitation is including.

One thing to note is that if people ask why, just leave it as you're unable to accommodate children. There's plenty of threads on here about guests trying to skirt the rules by offering to cover the cost of their kids' meals, have kids sit in laps, claim kids won't make a sound during the ceremony, etc. The less they have to try to work around, the easier it will be. Also echoing the above about being consistent and applying the rules equally to everyone.

Thanks Everyone. Very useful information!

We put a FAQ on our website with answers in (my extremely sarcastic tone). Most of the individuals who have kids already know that its not a kid event (my fiancé's cousins etc) and I expect to have to call a few of them and be like "Cool cool - so this invite was for just the adults" after we get some RSVPs.

I'm also expecting a few people to decline to come because of this. Its the nature of the beast.

Our no kid answer is tied into our "plus one" answer and here's how I put it (again, I'm extremely sarcastic by nature and all of our FAQs are in this tone)...

Can I bring a date?

Giant weddings are Ori's literal nightmare. But also, they're crazy expensive. Please check your invite. If it says "and guest" then we've probably previously discussed this with you. If not, please be respectful of how long it took us to coordinate a seating chart and leave that hottie you swiped right on at home. (Glen says that's Ori speak for "No.")

Okay, so no dates. But can I bring my kid?

Kids are great. Kids are so fun. Kids are not invited. There are a very small number of kids who are involved in the wedding due to their relationship with Ori and Glen, but outside of that, please leave your kids at home.

For our venue we didn’t have a safety option if we got rained out as we wanted an outdoor wedding. What we did was also rent out the little club room they had as an emergency room. With renting it we have it the entire night. Because of that I’m making it the kids’ room after the ceremony. His family is huge and they have a crayola amount of little ones (at least 15 as of now, possibly more in the next year or so). We are doing things like puzzles, wedding activity books, jenga, mini-dance floor, picture scavenger hunt with disposable cameras, and hiring a baby sitter. Originally I wanted a no kid wedding, but I couldn’t justify having just my ring bears and flower girls there at the reception (I adore those 4 kids) without including the others so it forced my hand.


If you go with a no kid wedding, that is 100% fine and your choice. Be prepared for some backlash, but stand your ground. Include it as info IN YOUR WEDDING INVITATION so that way there is no confusion. State that your wedding is a semi-formal/formal event that is not conducive for children, so due to this your wedding is child free. You apologize for any inconvenience this may bring, but hope they respect your wishes and understand why this event isn’t suited for children. If you want to include childcare at a hotel with a baby sitter go for it, I know that will limit the backlash, but that can get pricy and idk if your budget would allow it.

Also having an adult only wedding. Both my husband I want kids some day, but our wedding is not that day 😬😂 hold your ground, you can’t please everyone.! We simply said “you’re invited to our adults only wedding and reception.” If anyone asks us about kiddos, we tell them we can’t accommodate them. If they ask why, we just repeat.
We’ve already had someone try to add in one of their 4 daughters and her new boyfriend but without asking us. We simply had to say it wasn’t possible. Unfortunately, you will have people who want to make it about them or cater to them. Best thing you can do is stand your ground and try not to take their frustration personally.
You mentioned child care off site.. I would not recommend this, as you will have to cover cost of that location, adult(s) caring for them, and their snacks/meals to name a few.

Thank you all for your help!