No kids reception help

Our situation isn’t totally the same, but we wanted no kids and stuck to our gun. We’ve made compromises in other places and tried to do things as reasonable as possible. There was some drama with one aunt/cousin because of it. We are having under 70 people at the wedding, adding kids to the list would have upped our guest list significantly. Most of our family and friends have kids and figured something out. This one cousin, who has an older kid (10y.o.) versus my friends who have infants, rsvpd no and said they had nobody to watch their kid for a wedding 2.5 months away. She also didn’t rsvp or come to my shower because we didn’t have kids there, although that’s not the excuse she gave. Sometimes you have to say it is what it is. Everyone else had their day how they wanted it, you should be entitled to have your day how you want it.

I say stick to your guns. If you let those two kids in, someone else who paid for a babysitter will be offended, and rightfully so. Someone else may wonder why those kids were invited but not theirs. As you said, you two are paying, not your grandparents. No pay, no say.

Stick to your guts! I've had to deal with changing things or adding things to appease the parents and at the end of the day you know what it's your wedding and people will judge regardless of what you do so at least you'll have done what makes you happy and what you want

The two cousins in question are 10 and 13, so they’re self sufficient. I told my mom that we’re getting married at a hotel, so why couldn’t they just hang out by the pool or in the room during the reception? I just feel like I would never hear the end of it, if I stick with the plan. One of the reasons why we’re asking for no children to attend the reception is because we’re having a small wedding (around 60 people). I just don’t even know what to say to my grandparents..

Also, thank you guys so much. I needed this!

Tell them you wanted a relaxing adult wedding not to be disrupted by antsy tweenagers

I would stick to what I wanted. Honestly kids don’t want to be at weddings anyway. We held firm on that and I didn’t even allow my only nephew to come let alone other kids....adult only event. Your grandparents will get over it.

I am in full support of adults only. That was our choice as well. That being said...
This isn't the last exception they'll want. Your grandparents are probably thinking of your wedding as they were even woolly 20-30 years ago (more family reunion) which is unaffordable now and doesn't fit the new aesthetic of a lot of weddings. You need to find and draw a line or get them to contribute to make their 'preferences' happen. In addition, someone is always upset about adult only weddings. It's usually immediate family who doesn't really understand the decision.
So, if that's what you want, you'll have to create a firm boundary about no kids. Stick to your guns and don't go into the reasoning/negotiations. Your reason needs to be 'we decided this is what we want.'

Stick to the decision you’ve already made, however, if you’re having an adults only reception, the entire event should be adults only.

When I was younger, my cousin got married and had an adult only ceremony and dinner. Then they told everyone that they could bring their children afterwards to join in the rest of the reception if they'd like. I don't know if that is something that will work for your situation but maybe it's a way to compromise. You wouldn't be paying extra for their meals but they won't be completely left out and it might appease your grandparents. Hope it all works out for you!

In my opinion, it's your wedding. If you want a kids free wedding, then have one. I think it's a little ridiculous to be offended by that. You aren't forcing your grandparents to go or anyone who has kids to go.

Are your grandparents paying? If not, they technically don't get a say. They already got two things they wanted, so they should appreciate that! Stand your ground, it is your day

You were not disrespectful. They were, for saying that. I would stand my ground

It's your wedding and it should be what you and your fiancee want it to be. The fact you are also paying for it means it's up to you. You mentioned already giving in on one thing, so i'd say you shouldn't have to give in on this. If you do they'll keep up with trying to make you alter what you want

If you want to have a wedding and reception with no children then that your call. Many people with children they cannot find a sitter may not come but you will still have a great crowd. I didn't attend a wedding because we do not have sitters for events like that, so we have been blessed to have events because they know my son is not a problem child. As far as my wedding goes, I will be letting children come only because those are the ones that hit the dance floor first and get the party started and it would also help for it to end early because of bedtime.

Have it your way especially if you are paying for it.