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Alex
Just Said Yes October 2022

No-kids policy

Alex, on August 21, 2022 at 1:19 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 31

My fiancé and I made the decision early on that we were not inviting children to the wedding. Yesterday, after I finished sealing the invitations my future mother in law sends me a text about how excited a family friend’s daughter is about the wedding. I politely told her children were not invited...
My fiancé and I made the decision early on that we were not inviting children to the wedding. Yesterday, after I finished sealing the invitations my future mother in law sends me a text about how excited a family friend’s daughter is about the wedding. I politely told her children were not invited to the wedding due to space and budget constraints. She did not respond for an hour so I called her. Her husband answered the phone and told me it will be a big deal if we do not invite this 13 year old to the wedding. I explained to him that we made the decision and if I invite this girl I will have to invite all the other invitee’s children. I might add that this family friend is not even close to my fiancé. Fiancé’s dad actually told me that fiancé’s brother will be mad if we do not invite the 13year old because her parent will likely not attend the wedding. What do I do? The rsvp cards specifically say “x number of seats have been reserved in your honor.”
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31 Comments

  • Cathy
    Dedicated September 2022
    Cathy ·
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    I also agree that you stick to your policy of “no kids”….my daughter’s wedding is 18 & older except for flower girl & program attendants…and YES we have had extreme drama over this but we stayed true to daughter’s vision and we did have one family that elected not to come after repeated conversation & a lot of stress…we also had another family member ask a couple of times about no kid policy & my daughter handled it like a champ! I have a friend who wants to bring her kids & is worried about what her kids think when they aren’t invited….blah blah blah…it is hard to do but stick to your policy!
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  • Rebekah
    Just Said Yes September 2024
    Rebekah ·
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    My dad has been trying to invite people to my wedding without consulting me as well. You just have to hold your ground. This is your wedding! You need to do what will make you and your fiancé the most comfortable. If those people really want to come they can get a babysitter for the night, if not then they don’t need to be there in the first place. It doesn’t matter if they’re a relative or a distant family friend, no one is entitled to make decisions about your wedding but you and your fiancé.
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  • G
    Beginner August 2023
    Goose2 ·
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    Stick to your word. No kids. If they don’t come, oh well! My fiancé and I have decided on no kids as well and I always get the “well what about my fiancé’s niece?” I always respond with, we’ll send her a copy of the video so she can watch it. No kids.
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  • Amanda
    Just Said Yes October 2024
    Amanda ·
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    Honestly in this occasion it's hard to say. Question is how does the fiancee feel towards this? It's something you guys need to sit down and talk about.. I have children at my actual wedding but during the reception they aren't to be there unless they are immediate family like sisters aunt's cousinsnand that pushing it
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  • Polly
    Savvy October 2022
    Polly ·
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    Stand your ground. It is you and your FIance’s day. No kids allowed and they need to understand that!! My FH and I made the same decision for our 10/16/22 wedding.
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  • J
    Just Said Yes May 2023
    Jenny ·
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    It’s your wedding you do what YOU want!!! 💕
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  • Laura
    Dedicated September 2022
    Laura ·
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    If you don't want children at the wedding stand firm. It's your wedding and your vision. All that guests make arrangements for their children that day because the adults are going to celebrate. If it's a destination wedding and folks are traveling with their children you can offer to set up child care for them (if it is in your budget) and they can do a pizza party or something with the kids and watch movies?
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  • T
    Expert May 2010
    Theresa ·
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    I would tell MIL that you're sorry, but when you and her son were discussing not having kids at the wedding, he never mentioned how very important it was for the 13-year-old (or however many kids it's up to by then) to be invited, so the decision was made for adults only. Too late to change it now!

    I would then let your future husband know that if those 3 are invited, all kids will have to be invited. Totalling 50 extra mouths to feed. And exactly how much extra money that will be. I imagine he'll come around if you put it that way.

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  • A
    Just Said Yes August 2024
    Aseel ·
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    At that point parents don’t even need to show up. Make your fiancé talk to his mom!!
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  • A
    Just Said Yes February 2023
    Amber ·
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    Uhh you said NO CHILDREN, what part of that did your MIL not get through her head? Is the 13yr old or the 13yr old parents going to pay for there child to attend? How rude can someone be? You are literally paying for everyone to eat plus everything else. No children period end of discussion
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  • Christine
    Just Said Yes October 2023
    Christine ·
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    Couldn’t have said it better myself! Blood handles blood, love it!
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