No kids… kinda

This is tricky. Some social circles don’t take kindly to having some kids in attendance and not others because it comes across as you playing favorites. Some couples invite babies only, even though they can be more disruptive than older children, and others invite flower girl/ring bearer only, while others see it as all or none. No matter what combination, you will upset someone if you have loopholes for select kids no matter how they are related to you.


As for informing guests, that is done strictly by addressing the invitation only to the adults. Do not say “The Smith Family” or list kids’ names. also the etiquette books advise against saying “adults only “ on the invitation or details card. Those are sent at 6-8 weeks standard before the wedding which is plenty of time to arrange childcare.

I think most people would realize the flower girl/ring bearer would be there despite the no kids rule. They're in the wedding party. So even if I saw no kids on an invitation, I wouldn't be upset to see family members of the bride and groom be there. Be prepared for some people to decline over this.

"Adult wedding and reception"

"Adult Only Affair"

• "Please respect our wishes for a child free reception"

• “We respectfully request no children under 16 at the reception.”
  

In my case I was emphatic about our event being adult only. I think I said something like: “This is an adult only event as we want you to come eat, dance and be merry without the stress of childcare. We recognize that this may be an inconvenience to some and understand if you are not able to attend.” I wouldn’t be shy about requesting this whatsoever.

We've chosen to specify no children, but have noted that children of immediate family will be in attendance. I want them around for pictures, and capping it at 5 kids is much better than ending up with 20.

View Quoted Comment Agreed! Have you decided on your wording?

View Quoted Comment Thank you I definitely want to be empathetic

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I imagine I will have some declinations over this, but it’s still better than the alternative imo

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your reply. I definitely understand what you’re saying. Definitely going to do RSVP cards with __ of # attending

I have told them individually on why we decided this because we just wanted to have to parents to have one night away from there young ones to cut loose. Just for a little fun without not having to be in mom or dad mode. We will only have teenagers there but not as many not to let little ones running around and also not hearing crying or screaming while at the ceremony

View Quoted Comment Thank you this is very helpful. Maybe the best bet would be to reach out to people personally. I appreciate this

We put something in the FAQ section of our wedding website about it. There's a ton of ways to word it that you can find online. Then on the invites we're going to make a point to address them to "Mr. and Mrs. So-and-so" rather than "The So-and-so Family," and on the RSVP cards we'll say something along the lines of "X number of seats have been reserved in your honor" so it's clear how many people were invited without outright saying "no kids" on the invites.

You shouldn’t refer to “no kids” on the invitation, because it’s saying who isn’t invited, which is rude. Address the invitation to the adults, and in the RSVP card say that 2 seats are reserved for them. If they write in extra, call and clarify.

It’s also ok to put it in the wedding website.

I would put on the invitations in clear words so that your guests know what to expect and they can prepare to find child care if they choose to attend your wedding. I would put "Adults Only" or "Adult Only Wedding - no children". I would put it in clear words so that there is no confusion.

Before we chose to go for an elopement, we also wanted to make a child-free wedding. We knew people would have reacted in many ways to this so we had an idea. Announce a child-free ceremony + party with whichever excuse (venue, relax ,…) BUT also announcing that we would have to take care of the children. And for we I mean… we would have arrange a and payed all the arrangements to not have them around ahah. We were thinking to hire directly some professional with their own place of course- because is cheaper. But if many guests are from different city that is harder. Not to mention some mums are not happy to give their children to some strangers.


Whatever you choose, remember is your wedding. Don’t you care what they think, the people has always to say.

I am not putting "no kids" on anything as it should be implied when invitations are addressed to the individual adults invited. The only kids who will be at my wedding are my nieces and that is because they are in the wedding. My sister is the one who arranged to have her in-laws come and pick them up for a sleepover after they eat. I did not even ask her to make arrangements for them! My sister and her husband want to have fun and not worry about getting the kids to bed since they will no doubt be exhausted after such a long eventful day.

If any RSVP's arrive with the addition of children, it will be clarified with a phone call that we will not be able to accommodate their children as our venue's policy is that if there are 5 or more children in attendance then we need to hire a professional babysitter to be at the venue which we will not be able to provide.

You can say "We lovingly request your babies and children stay at home....
This is an adults only celebration"

View Quoted Comment So I wanted to do this but I realized it would come off as bridezilla of me to ask that they explicitly use the service we’re paying for. And it would drive me crazy to see kids still everywhere in the reception. You can force your guests to use the childcare. It seems like no winning in these situations

Since there will be some children in attendance I d put something like the below on your wedding website (or say it verbally to anyone who asks):

Due to limited numbers, we hope you understand that children are only invited if named on the invite.

We adore your children but unfortunately we are only able to accommodate children in the wedding party (or immediate family) at our reception. Thank you for understanding, we are so excited to celebrate with you!

Best of luck!