No kids invited!

Hosting an adult only wedding is in no way rude; and is actually quite common.

It’s not rude. Be prepared that some guests will not attend if they are unable to arrange childcare (maybe the trusted babysitter is also an invited guest and you don’t know what anyone else’s financial situation or work PTO availability are) due to inconvenience. It is considered rude in some social circles to say on the invitation itself “adults only” or “no children” because the names on the envelope convey who is invited and it is a faux pas to point out who is not invited. Also, in some social circles and families, it is considered rude to cherry pick which children are exceptions to the no kids rule, meaning they don’t take well to a flower girl or an infant in attendance and everyone else has to find childcare. But no one will say a word to the couple so the couple thinks everyone is happy.

Not rude at all! Many people choose to have an adult-only wedding. Like Michelle said, some people may decline the invitation if they aren't able to find childcare (or if they choose to not find childcare), but that's their decision.

It’s not at all rude to invite only adults but it IS etiquette inappropriate to put “adults only” or similar language on an invitation. That implies your guests would be rude enough to bring their uninvited children. Invitations are meant to offer, not deny hospitality. If anyone replies with the names of their children or does not reply specifically as to who is attending you’d follow up one on one. If people have issues you might suggest local sitters or even consider hiring one or more if feasible. That’s a more polite approach than suggesting all your guests are clueless.


Like adults, children can fall into different categories, for example an immediate family member, distant family, or the child of friends. Contrary to what some may believe it’s perfectly acceptable to invite some children and not others on that basis. At most weddings I attend only close family member children are included.
I agree with PP that etiquette considers children in the wedding to be child guests who happen to have an honor not an exception to any no child policy.

No kids is perfectly fine. I think the garter thing isn’t, it’s also old school out of style

The garter thing is tacky and in bad taste, though.

View Quoted Comment I kind of agree. Obviously each bride should do whatever they want. But even as an adult, I would find a man “biting a garter from the bride’s thigh” in front of friends and family super cringey. I know this was a “new” and “funny” trend back in the late 90s (?) early 2000s (?)… but definitely has gone out of trend (and for good reason).

View Quoted Comment Exactly!!!

In my circles, child-free is more common than garter toss. But, if one or both of you are looking forward to it, then go ahead. You make your own wedding to reflect you. But, choose a funny song as it can be a bit awkward for some guests.

I was at a vow renewal reception recently where photographers were way too into taking pictures of kids who actually had no relationship to the couple nor had any role at all. It was senseless, but photographers don't know who's who. So in sum, invite those you care about.

As a guest, I have seen countless bouquet tosses and they are not phasing out, and the only time that anyone actively avoids them is when the dj starts bullying single women to get up. Even calling them out by name. But have only witnessed that a very small handful of times in comparison. Never seen a garter toss in real life, even with young, non religious crowds. Have seen many of them while scrolling YouTube , which means that every social circle is different in their comfort levels. Unless you know your crowd is 100% comfortable watching something reserved for closed doors, there are more tactful ways to toss the garter in mixed company of closest family and friends.

In my opinion, I don't think so. It's your wedding and you can have it however you want it. We are getting married next year in August, and I am telling family and friends that we have reached our child max level. His kids, my grands and my siblings' kids, (10 total), are the only to attend. I allowed that many because of the flower girl, and my grands being my greeters.

Do your wedding YOUR way. Everyone else will fall in line.

Enjoy your day!

I am having an adults only wedding. I don’t have any kids and neither does my fiancé. So we decided not to. Also we aren’t doing a flower girl or ring bearer. I don’t think it’s rude at all. We put it on our invitation!

Just went to an adults-only wedding and it was awesome! We're considering having ours kid-free as well. All of the parents were thrilled to get the night off and relax.

We are doing adults only as well. We put on the details card no one under 21 outside the wedding party because we were having his youngest daughter in the wedding and she's 18. The only person who seemed to have an issue with that was a family member on my side who asked if her 2 teens can come, despite the RSVP stating they have 2 seats reserved.

View Quoted Comment

I LOVE IT! And I agree.

Thank you ! And thanks to everyone for the responses!!!!!

View Quoted Comment

Yes, I never understood an all-adult wedding would have a flower girl or ring bearer at all. It seems like they're invited just for picture props and i assume without other kids, they'd be bored. My partner and I don't plan to have kids ever so it made no sense to highlight children over our chosen lifestyle.

Lmao coming from a mother of 4... HARD NO. People enjoy kid-less weddings!

However i do plan on allowing children to mine, to a certain hour... Just because a lot of my invites have kids and wouldn't want them to miss out because they couldn't find or afford a sitter for the occasion.

You can choose to do a no-kids wedding but be prepared for some hurt feelings. You cannot get mad if someone can't come because they don't have childcare.

View Quoted Comment

I agree if they are just props or when other children with the identical relationship are excluded. IMO flower girls and ring bearers should only be chosen if they are very close, and already invited.

My children were once in the wedding party and the only kids at an immediate family wedding, though. They were the opposite of bored with all their relatives there to pay attention to them. It's one of their favorite memories.