No Kids (for some) and online Rsvp's

You're definitely going to get push back allowing some children and not others. This is why the "all or nothing" rule or inviting in circles is recommended when it comes to kids. If you must do things this way, I would make sure that your invitations are addressed only to those who are invited, and mention something on your website. "Q Can we bring our children? A Unfortunately, we cannot accommodate any extra guests."

Can you possibly make all the other kids you are inviting part of your bridal party? This way you can avoid possible drama if parents get upset their kids weren't invited

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I should have made this more clear in the original post: the kids who are invited are in the bridal party (junior bridesmaid, ring bearers) or siblings of ring bearers. No other children are invited, so we are definitely already inviting in circles.

My in-laws' side has no immediate cousins in the family. Only more distant cousins/friends who also have children, but who we have no relationship with.

I like your suggestion of adding a Q&A!

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Having 6 ring bearers is excessive- no? I have 2, a nephew and a godson. The only other children included are the brothers of those 2.

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Also, I freaking love your name.

I think you can just word things to say no children. If the only kids there are in the wedding, it’s self explanatory why they are there and are permitted to stay for the reception. Anyone who questions it at that point is just rude. I would tell the parents of the kids involved that their children may stay but the invites will be saying adult reception to prevent a herd of children coming to the wedding. I honestly don’t think it’s anyones business to question what kids are there, but I keep reading so many posts about this issue. It’s your wedding, you’ll never make everyone happy, so just stick to your guns.

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Thank you! Also, I truly think the only way to prevent hurt feelings is to make every child a bridal party member. Not saying you need to have 6 ring bearers, but some type of role for each!

Could the other boys pull a wagon for the flower girl (if there is one?)/ ring bearers to ride in, and then a sign holder?

View Quoted Comment Cher is right, people’s feelings will be hurt. Which is fine, just be prepared. You can’t please everyone! In my opinion family is different. We made one exception for some neighbor kids I used to babysit (very close to them obviously) and our other neighbor was pissed. I really didn’t care 🤷🏼‍♀️ I did put “adult only celebration” right on our RSVP but people still asked 🙄 I would just put it out there, spread the word! If you are using an app for RSVP and you can’t add addition info just tell a family member who you trust to spread the word 😂 maybe you FIL can help if he thinks his fam will be cray cray and bring their kids.

We added a mention on our website "Our space is very limited. In order to have the opportunity to celebrate with as many of our loved ones as possible we are asking that only those listed on the invitation attend." We also spoke to specific people personally so they were aware and understood our reasons for the request.

I would politely add that there will be no children at the wedding.
And if needed - which you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone bc it’s YOUR day- but you could mention that the only children coming are part of the wedding party so that is the only exception

View Quoted Comment Perfectly said !!

View Quoted Comment Yup! Absolutely - stand your ground and sometimes you have to be blunt and bold for people to understand and drop it

Have you sent out invitations with RSVPs? Some people add a line like
“We invite you to leave your kids at home and enjoy an evening together!” Or something like that.