No kids at ceremony, but can be at reception??

I don’t think there’s a way to do that without being rude. An arbitrary age cutoff is tough for families who have kids over and under that age. Also are parents supposed to go home after the ceremony and get their kids and miss part of cocktail hour/dinner? It’s totally okay to have a child free wedding (the entire event) or you can invite in circles like immediate family only etc. Also if you do decide to go ahead and do this only address the invitation to who is invited and spread the other information by word of mouth or your website. An invitation should never say anything about who isn’t invited.

View Quoted Comment I want a completely child free wedding, my fiance does not. There are a lot of undisciplined children in the family and it's really important to me that there aren't any disruptions during the ceremony, plus it will be extremely long. Also, the families we are inviting either have older children or much younger children. So there's no worry of splitting anyone up as far as ages of children. There was talk of a sitter at the ceremony but no one really liked that idea either (understandably). I'm at my wits end as to what's a good compromise for both of us at this point. I also suggested we just invite the family's with kids to the reception so there's no risk of being rude, but that also wasn't a good compromise.

What are the parents supposed to do with their kids during the ceremony? I imagine you'll get a lot of people declining if they can't bring their kids to the ceremony.
Also, you aren't supposed to add anything to the invites about who isn't invited. Invitations are addressed to only this who are invited.

If you can hire an on location sitter for the ceremony i think most guests would be okay with that, and just make it known there will be child care provides for the ceremony

I don’t think there’s an easy way to resolve that. I think you may need to bite the bullet on it and just have the kids there. Maybe have something on the chairs or in a basket by the front for them to quietly be distracted. Maybe a coloring book(color wonder) or mini etch a sketches. Something quiet so hopefully they can sit still and be content while the “boring adult stuff” happens.

So...would you expect your adult guests to leave after the ceremony, go get their children, and come back for the reception? Or just not attend the ceremony and wait around for the reception? I don't think there's a polite way to phrase this. You'll have to either allow children to the entire event, or not at all.

There's really no polite way to word this, and you're risking a lot of "NO" RSVPs.

In reference to P/P who mentioned hiring a sitter for on site, I'm not sure too many parents would leave their children with some random, unknown sitter.

I'm not sure how to word it, does that mean the guests with kids won't come to the ceremony? I'm not sure what they would do with their kids during the ceremony then be able to go pick them up before the reception. Are you offering a kid's room at the venue with a babysitter?

It’s really rude to do this. Either invite them to the whole thing or not at all.

No
Im allowing kids at both
We are over an hour away from town ppl would make a lomg trip to get their kids after

What are they supposed to do with them during the ceremony, leave them in the car? Or are families with kids only able to come after the ceremony?

Either invite them or don't, but to the whole thing, not just a part.

I totally get not wanting children at the ceremony but you really can't do this to your guests, it's actually worse than having a completely child-free wedding in my eyes. And you're right, not inviting entire families to your ceremony because they have children is also a big no.

I see you said your ceremony is going to be long - will it be in a church? If so, it probably has adequate facilities for childcare and I would hire 2-3 people who are not invited to the wedding to watch children broken out by age group for your ceremony. I know you said people did not like that but I feel like that's the only viable option if you want a child-free ceremony and are welcoming children at the reception.