No inner envelope

ALSO, I have several friends who are room mates. how would I list them?

names given to help

Katrina Smith Korrina Mayorga (both single females) Katrina has a son named Ryan

Or I have a couple who have their parents living with them and their families, one of them not being married.

I NEVER THOUGHT the labels would be this complicated LOL

We had our invitations addressed for us, so let me see what she ended up doing:


1. A family- parents with kids - ended up just being The Smith Family on the envelope. The RSVP I set up has the kids clearly listed.2. Roommates should be Joe Smith and Jane Allen I believe. She did the lady first in the case of mixed genders3. If everyone has the same last name, I would label parents living with their kids as the Smith Family again. Maybe give an individual invitation if the names aren't the same.
Hopefully that helps!

I sent individual save the dates, and plan to do the same with invitation, for any households where there were adults living together.


Ex. My aunt and uncle have three grown children, one of whom is living with them. I sent one to aunt&uncle, and a separate to cousin at the same address. Friends with a brother/sister and both are in relationships, however live with their parents still. I sent one to Sister &guest, and one to Brother&guest. For any households where it’s an entire family unit I sent one. My reasoning is if I sent one to “the smiths” in Specifically my second example, their parents or another household member could open and potentially misplace the invite accidentally

My logic with most of mine (I literally wrote Excel formulas to do this and adjusted individual cells if it didn't make sense) was 1 person had their name, 2 people were both names listed with "and" in the middle (it grabbed them in the order I listed them), and 3+ people went to "(last name of first person in the file with that address) Family". But I don't think my fiance and I had any non-couple friends living together. I think it's fine to list each roommate. One exception would be if you think any of them could be moving soon, maybe then do individuals separately.

Etiquette standards dictate:
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Suzie Smith 1020 Sunset LaneMissoula, MT 12345
Or
Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Suzie Smith1020 Sunset LaneMissoula, MT 12345
Where “Suzie”is the child.

View Quoted Comment Oh wow. Everyone I have ready says not to put children under 18 on envelope.

View Quoted Comment Thanks!! Makes sense so they both would have a copy.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much for the reply!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for the response!!

View Quoted Comment Yes, generally they would be on the inner envelope. But if you aren’t having one, I’d put it on the outer one, based on the Emily Post Etiquette Guide.
However, especially if there are only a few children invited, you may wish to tell the parent(s) in person/through text that they are welcome to bring their child. The confusion happens when some but not all children are invited- word of mouth travels and you’re second cousin winds up bringing their stepchild sort of thing.

View Quoted Comment Makes sense. Thanks for following up.

Definitely put exact names on the envelope. The and family can result in people brining an aunt, etc.

View Quoted Comment I have several cousins that have five kids, one even has six. Do I really put all seven or eight names on it?

I also would just write (and tbh, not sure if this is 100% correct etiquette, but it’s what made me more comfortable in this situation) was writing “The Shoemaker Family” on the invitation. I did that for a couple of people who had kids at home. No one seems to mind and my FH agreed that he preferred that than simply addressing the parents. For roommates that live together but are not a couple, I would send them each individual invites, with their own envelopes.

View Quoted Comment I think this is what I am going to do. I would rather do that than be the one to potentially display children’s names to the world.

View Quoted Comment That makes sense too! I think that way, no one is excluded if you mean to invite the whole family, and the kids maintain their privacy.