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Just Said Yes October 2019

No Gift or Card from Groom's Parents or Family?

Abby, on January 23, 2020 at 1:03 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 10

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Hi all,

My wedding was a few months ago but I can't help but continue to think about this. My parents paid for my entire wedding, which was very gracious of them and I'm incredibly thankful for it. My husband's family didn't offer to contribute to the wedding, including the rehearsal dinner, and my parents graciously paid for that as well. However, my husband's parents also didn't give us a wedding gift. Not even a card. His two brothers (groomsmen - and one of their wives was my maid of honor) also did not give us a gift OR CARD. I know that wedding gifts are not obligatory, but I'm feeling really hurt that his family didn't even have the decency to give us a card. Can anyone relate?

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Veronica, on January 23, 2020 at 5:21 PM

Expert October 2021
Vannesa · on January 23, 2020 at 1:08 PM
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Did they give the other brothers cards at their wedding? If they didn't then maybe they were just trying to keep it to where they didn't give anyone else something different?
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Just Said Yes October 2019
Abby · on January 23, 2020 at 1:10 PM
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That's a good point, I'm not sure. They got married before my husband and I started dating.
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Super May 2019
KYLIE · on January 23, 2020 at 1:11 PM
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We had a decent number of people who didn't give us a gift or a card. It was what it was. Sure, it stings a little, but I wouldn't let it hurt your relationship with them!
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Expert October 2021
Vannesa · on January 23, 2020 at 1:13 PM
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They may have not given anything to either of the others so they were trying to keep it fair. As for his brothers they may not have really thought about it since they were in the wedding not sure how they think but if they were busy it may have slipped their mind.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on January 23, 2020 at 1:28 PM
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I had a decent # of people not give us cards or gifts either. It kinda sucks aha but it is what it is. Their presence there should be enough but I agree a card woulda been nice
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Master November 2019
Mrs. S · on January 23, 2020 at 1:40 PM
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A lot of people didn’t get us a gift or card. I don’t think it’s a big deal.
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Master September 2019
Sherry · on January 23, 2020 at 2:02 PM
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We also had several that didn't gift or send cards but we ultimately did just want everyone there. Sure, a card or gift would have been nice and you are definitely entitled to be upset over it, I just wouldn't let it effect your relationship with them if possible.
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VIP September 2019
Mrs. Bubba · on January 23, 2020 at 4:10 PM
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We didn’t get a 🎁 from my Parents-in-law either.
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Dedicated October 2019
KAREN · on January 23, 2020 at 4:59 PM
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I was just talking to my mom about this because she was asking when we're buying a house and I told her that because we got way fewer gifts than we anticipated, that it may need to wait a bit. It is what it is, but yes, agreed, it does sting a little. A good friend of mine just texted me a few days ago to let me know that he totally forgot to bring his with him, then meant to mail it around Christmas and forgot so he mailed it the other day!
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on January 23, 2020 at 5:21 PM
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My sister and her husband and my brother-in-law and his wife didn't give us a gift or card either. My sister was my maid of honor and my brother-in-law was a groomsman. My brother-in-law's wedding was 6 weeks after ours, but we still gave him a gift even though he didn't give us one. We knew they didn't have a lot money with planning their own wedding and having bought a house. My sister and her husband just suck at finances so it wasn't really a shock that they didn't give us anything either.
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